Spiral
by snazzelle
Summary: Nick knew he needed to loose himself before he makes a decision. He can't make a decision when every one of them would be wrong. Nick/Zak Ghost adventures slash fic
1. Prologue

Dislcaimer: I own nothing, I own no one.

Summary: He loves Roni. He does, he does- and his little girl, even though he barely has enough time to talk to them. But he can't deny what he feels for Zak and he can't stop himself from acting upon it. Zak loves him and Nick lets Zak know everyday that he feels the same too. Fate has him spinning, and Nick's only waiting for the day it spirals out of control and crashes him into a complete stop.

* * *

><p>It's spiraling out of control, but you don't want to let go of either of them. The ring on your finger feels right where it is. The weight of the gold band is familiar and the pale outline on your skin a reminder when you forget that you're already promised to another (and you do). But the masculine body you're holding onto now feels amazing in your arms. The weight is different, but you like it- more solid, less fragile. An expanse of tan skin on muscle decorated here and there with ink and not a pierce on his body. It's different- this man is not who you're married to and definately not a woman.<p>

But it's getting harder and you know you can't keep both. It's spiraling out of control and you're taking them along for the ride. You mean everything you say to the both of them, but secrets are just silent forms of lies. The dishonesty is getting the best of you, and you know one day soon you're going to loose one of them, if not both. The current is becoming overbearing and you nearly lost yourself in the colors and excitement. There is no way you could lead them on without one of them slipping from your fingers.

It's a matter of time now and you're kickin' back and enjoying the ride. This whirlpool you started is inconsistent, but the end is undeniable. You're comfortable where you are, but you do make mistakes here and there. When you move with her, you cannot help but compare. Soft, and all curves, shy and feminine._ Gentler, she'll break, she'll break. She's not you._But when you have the other man underneath you, every cell of that body begging and voice keening, the guilt is burning at the back of your spine. When you come down from that euphoric high, with that strong body holding on because he knows you're not his to keep, the burn of guilt becomes almost unbearable and you know you can't mistake the bubbling in your stomach for pleasure. It hurts even more when you start wondering if he should've appeared in your life first, or not at all. (And that just starts a whole other round of guilt as you hold on tighter to that slumbering figure. He's changed your life so much, and you regret nothing.)

But sometimes you just forget. When you're with her, you sometimes forget you have him on the side (even though he wants to be your whole world). You go back to being the perfect family man. You're so in love with this woman and it shows. No one else knows better. And when you're with him, you tend to forget your life belongs elsewhere and not in the hands of this other male. But you like where you are there, and he likes holding onto you and being the center of your attention. You love him too, you honestly do. It can't be anything else when his smile sets you soaring and he constantly has your heart racing.

And the guilt comes back. A never ending downward spiral that every now and then puts down a treasure as gently as it picks it up, but in the end destroys everything in it's path. You can only imagine the disaster it'll leave for you when it finally sets you down too. You're almost too afraid to look back (because nothing in the past is deniable), but the future scares you just as much (even though you're denying every possible bad scenerio). Right now, right when you're lost in two different worlds quickly swirling together, you can concentrate on this one moment, away from the glow of familiar Vegas lights, and the only thing familiar about the place is the weight, scent and feel of the person clinging on to you. You know he needs you right now and the current calms.


	2. Chapter 1

Nick was doing his usual thing when they find a person telling them to leave the premises – his camera held down by his leg and facing away, but on so they could catch the conversation going on between Zak and, at the moment, an old lady who seemed to be yelling _something _at them. They've been at it for three minutes already, but not one of them could understand her. He could hear Aaron trying to stifle his laughter into the sleeve of his jacket somewhere behind his right shoulder and Nick was trying really hard not to crack a smile as Zak struggled through trying to explain to this woman that they had permission to be there. She could not be swayed, nor charmed. Nick could see the flush coming onto Zak's cheeks as this woman out-spoke him again, getting louder every time Zak tried to open his mouth. That usually never happens, and Nick couldn't stop the small hiccup of a laugh that escaped.

_Shit_. Nick bit his lip, hoping it'd hide the smile slowly climbing up his face but Zak was already on to him. Zak huffed and crossed his arms, eyes swiftly moving from the infuriating woman in front of him to Nick with a quick glare and back. There's a reason Zak doesn't do negotiations. There's a reason he sends Nick to do all the talking behind the scenes. Nick could see the line of his shoulders tense and he knew if he didn't get Zak free now, that loud mouth of his was going to get them in a lot of trouble.

"Alright, alright. We understand, ma'am," Nick said loudly and slowly as he switched his camera off with a slide of his finger. Zak looked at Nick as if he'd been betrayed and Nick really wanted to smooth the distress from Zak's eyebrows. Instead, he gave him a slight nod and a small smile before signaling Aaron to move out. The other man finally let out a short bark of laughter after getting the camera from Nick and running out before Zak could turn his burning gaze on him.

The woman was looking pretty smug as she walked back into the room she came out of and Zak looked as if he wasn't done yet. He wanted to take a look around the building before they started the interviews but even Nick had abandoned him. Nick raised an eyebrow and Zak huffed again.

"We're staying, Nick."

The second eyebrow raised, "Zak did you not hear what that woman said?"

"I didn't understand a damn word she said."

Nick scoffed lightheartedly. Looking towards where Aaron ran off to and back towards the room the lady escaped to, Nick made sure the coast was clear before he pulled the strong figure into his arms. He rubbed his hands up and down Zak's back until he felt the tense muscles loosen and the slightly shorter man relax. Zak was a bit headstrong, usually got his way – liked getting his way – and usually Nick found ways for it to happen when Zak doesn't get it right the first time.

"We have every right to be in here, Nick." Zak whined into Nick's neck, his arms coming around his chest to keep Nick in place. Nick sighed and rested his hands in the pretty curve in Zak's lower back. Zak bumped his forehead lightly onto Nick's, begging with his eyes when deep browns finally met crystal blues. Nick shut his eyes with a sigh.

"Fine... I'll do it. I'll talk to her."

The smile Nick received nearly knocked the breath out of him, like it usually did when he put it there, and he chuckled when Zak placed a light kiss to his smiling lips.

"I knew you'd do it for me. I know you'll do it better."

Yeah. Nick's pretty smitten with the guy.

* * *

><p>The place was a lot bigger on the inside than it looked from the outside and a lot more dangerous. Nick managed to persuade the old lady that, yes, they had received permission prior to arrival, and that okay, she had no responsibility over the men if they get lost or hurt, and... and what? Oh. Alright. They <em>promise<em>not to touch anything, break anything, or take anything out of the building. Walking down the fourth floor hallway with an excited Zak bouncing from room to room and a joking Aaron who returned after making sure their cameras were safe with Billy, Nick could finally feel the throbbing in his head he received from the grueling verbal battle with a person even more hardheaded than Zak fade. He swore to be more patient with the other man if he never had to meet another person like the little old lady in the front room ever again.

"Hey, dude, do you hear Zak?" Aaron asked. Like Nick, he was following Zak at a slower pace trying to keep his distance in case Zak decided somewhere back the other way felt more active.

Nick looked at Aaron and was about to ask what the hell he was talking about but instead stopped and listened. It was a whole lot quieter. For the past ten minutes they had either heard the darker man's footsteps as he hurried back their way or the opening and slamming of doors as the other man moved forward, but it was dead silent now. Aaron looked at him with growing concern, not exactly knowing what to do.

"Zak?" Nick called out, and when he didn't get a response a look back at Aaron got them both running towards the direction Zak headed off towards.

"Zak!" Nick called out again. How dangerous could this place be? Zak knows better than to walk over weak floorboards or into destroyed rooms without having anyone know first. He could hear Aaron falling behind as the other man opened doors to see if their missing friend was passed out somewhere or – shit. Shit. What if Zak wasn't breathing? This place was old, there was dust everywhere and other things flying through the air, supposedly there are violent ghosts floating around and though they haven't been killed yet, getting attacked or possessed wasn't something new.

The other doors going down the path didn't look to be recently opened. Nick was breathing deeply and Aaron ignored the other doors now to be by Nick's side. The door was parted open just slightly, but they couldn't hear anything beyond the sound of their own breathing. Nick really hoped Zak was on the other side and when he got the courage to finally push it open he couldn't help but sigh in relief when he saw the man standing there with a confused look on his face.

"Fuck, Zak. What were you thinking? What are you doing? Why are you in here?" Nick's concern was slowing growing into anger, but stopped when he saw that the confusion on Zak's face hadn't changed.

"Zak, man, are you... are you okay?" Aaron took the first step towards Zak and reached out a hand towards his shoulder only to hover for a bit before landing.

Zak's gaze broke from somewhere above Nick's shoulder to focus on Aaron before it looked like his senses were returned to him. He shook his head and breathed deeply twice, "I... what?"

"Dude, how are you feeling?"

"Bro, I don't know, man. I just feel weird in this room. Don't you guys feel it?"

Nick walked forward next. He was so close to grabbing the other man around his shoulders and bringing him closer so he could feel the other man's heartbeat against his chest, but Aaron was around and he promised Aaron he wouldn't do that in front of him.

"You wouldn't answer me, Zak."

"You were calling me? I didn't know!" Zak said with a small laugh as he brushed Aaron's hand off his shoulder. Aaron was sill looking at him funny, but so was Nick. Was there something on his face?

Nick closed his eyes and dropped his head. His right hand came up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he tried to calm his rapidly beating heart. He thought something may have happened. _Wait..._

"How do you feel?"

"What? Nick, I'm okay."

"No... how are you feeling? What were you feeling? There has to be a reason you weren't answering us, Zak. Aaron and I could probably be heard two floors down."

"I feel fine now, Nick, honestly. A little dazed, but I'm okay. I just walked in here."

"How long have you been in here?"

"What? That's a silly question."

"Zak..."

"Look, I'm okay. I'm not hurt. _Something _compelled me to come here, but it hasn't hurt me."

Nick looked at Aaron and Aaron quickly got the hint. With a thumbs up and a quick, good luck, Aaron left them alone.

When the door closed Nick shortened the distance between them and grabbed Zak around the face. He pulled the other man closer, "Tell me everything Zak. You don't need to hide anything from me. Hell, you don't need to hide anything from Aaron. We've been in this crazy shit together for ten years now. Now tell me, what happened in this room?"

Nick watched Zak as he felt the other man cover his hands with his own. He closed his blue eyes, "I think... I may have been... partially possessed again," he opened them and added quickly, "but it's okay! I'm okay."

"Fuck... Zak," Nick let go of Zak's face and backed up to take a good look at the other man.

"It won't happen again, I won't let it. This place is packed with activity, I could feel it, Nick," Zak pressured. He grabbed Nick's hand and snickered, "I'm a professional."

Squeezing his fingers, Nick chuckled and relented. He couldn't take this man away from any kind of haunted building, teeming with demons or not. Suddenly, they heard a knock on the door and Aaron's voice telling them it's about time to start the interviews. Zak squeezed the hand in his one final time before letting go and telling Aaron that it was safe to open the door and that yes, they still had their clothes on, _jeez, _Aaron.

* * *

><p>Nick knew they shouldn't of taken on that building. The fourth floor was the most dangerous and the second spot visited during the night and they've all been shook up for the better part of the investigation. Zak put on a good show, as usual. After being possessed by the same spirit that whisked him away for a few minutes the day before, Zak could barely respond to either Aaron or Nick for an hour. Cameras were shut off, every flashlight on them was turned on and Nick would've broken open a window if he knew it would help Zak calm down. But in the dark room, Zak was just breathing harshly, his eyes half lidded and pupils blown wide. The spirit seemed to have left, but it seemed to have given Zak a gift of some sort, a memory, an experience, <em>something, <em>it had to be something.

When Zak came back to his senses, it took him a few more minutes with the cameras on and the investigation back in full swing to bring back his usual charismatic hunting. Zak was going off again on ghosts, trying to bring them out, but Nick could still see the panic in Zak's eyes. The man was a lot more twitchy, a bit more sensitive, and a whole lot more paranoid. Nick refused to leave his side, refused to go into different rooms, barely let there be eight feet between them and nearly said "no" to every request Zak made. He was not going to leave Zak's side, not when he was so close he could hear the tremble in Zak's every breath.

Nick was laying down in bed in a pair of basketball shorts playing with his cellphone in one hand while the other rested under his head. The television was shut off in favor of listening to Zak taking a shower in case the other man passed out from either exhaustion or from some random side-effect from last night's possession.

Veronique was supposed to call today; she always did after an investigation night to make sure Nick was safe. Nick always waited for the call, never wanting to wake up his wife and daughter if they were still asleep, but he did want to hear their voices if only to make sure he came out of the building the same person and that life outside the paranormal was real. But it's almost eight and he's pretty sure that by this time she wasn't going to call. Veronique and he were usually done with a conversation at that time, so Nick felt that she assumed he'd be asleep for the rest of the day. He heard the shower shut off and he set his cellphone down on the bedside table.

The door opened and steam was the first to make it out before his towel clad lover. When Nick saw Zak focus on him, Nick opened his arms wide, an invitation for Zak to just fall into his arms but Zak only laughed and threw the towel around his waist at him before heading for his luggage.

"Jerk." Nick said playfully as he let the towel drop to the floor. He heard the other man scoff lightly as he watched the way Zak's muscles moved with every step and sway of his hips. He watched as the other man bended over to dig through his suitcase for something to sleep in and Nick would've really taken advantage of that position had he had any energy left. Instead he laid back and admired as Zak pulled something over his legs. Watching the now clothed man turn around, Nick opened his arms again and was not disappointed.

"Hey, beautiful." Nick whispered into Zak's still damp hair as he felt the other man cling onto his body. Zak's body was still very warm from his shower and Nick had a feeling that his own room-temperature adjusted body must of felt too cool against Zak's skin but the other man neither complained or pulled away.

Zak gave him a light chuckle and whispered into Nick's neck, "You charmer."

Nick placed his lips right in the center of Zak's hairline, letting himself rest there as he felt Zak's heartbeat against his own chest. Every now and then he could feel the beat picking up and he knew that something was bothering the man in his arms. Leaving with a kiss to the spot where he rested his lips Nick pulled his face away, "Tell me what happened. Back there, in the room on the fourth floor."

Nick waited patiently as Zak inhaled and exhaled unsteadily, and he tried to catch the other man's blue eyes, but they refused to raise above Nick's chin. Nick let his hand smooth over the skin on Zak's hip, allowing his little finger to slip under the band of the other man's shorts as he moved his hand from Zak's side to his back trying to touch as much skin as possible. Zak's eyes were falling shut and Nick was a bit scared that Zak was falling into another world. Without thinking it through, Nick pulled his hand away, pulling the band with him and allowed it to snap back onto Zak's hip which earned him a full on glare when those blue eyes shot open.

"I'm sorry." Nick said quickly, and Zak rolled his eyes before grabbing Nick's hand and putting it back where it was resting.

"I was trying to remember everything. And I really, really don't want to."

"But you have to, Zak. Remember what both the priest and the therapists said, you have to share these experiences. They're not good to keep bottled inside of you."

"I know." Zak sighed. "... it was the usual. Well, it was kind of different." Zak moved to lay on his back, but Nick beat him to it, pulling the heavier man slightly on top of him so Zak was laying flat on his stomach instead. This made it easier for Nick to move his hands across Zak's back and let him know he's there and Zak thanked him quietly before continuing, "You know how those possessions go, Nick. I wanted to be violent. I wanted to kill _Aaron_, I wanted to kill _you_. They showed me how to do it, how I would've done it, Nick, and it scared me."

Nick pulled Zak's head to rest on his chest, "But you didn't do anything to us, Zak." Nick reminded him as he pulled Zak's hair away from his face and smoothed it down.

"I know. _I know._ Thank _God._"

Zak went silent as he tried to calm himself down with Nick's touches. Fuck, but that wasn't all.

"They wanted me to kill myself too."

Nick's hands stalled before he continued combing back Zak's drying hair. He swallowed before asking, "What do you mean?"

"They just about convinced me that I was dangerous. That I was definitely going to hurt you. I was nearly convinced that the only way you guys were safe was if I were dead, Nick." Zak's voice caught, "Nick, I wanted to die."

"Zak..."

"I would've done it too. I would've jumped if you hadn't stopped me from opening the window. I could never hurt you."

What could Nick say after that? I'm glad that you didn't? You should never have to feel that way? Those were all to obvious. Nick pulled the other man up by his shoulders making the strong body straddle his waist and waited for Zak's forearms to rest above his shoulders so Zak's weight wouldn't crush him. He's never seen that face on the other man before. He wanted it to leave.

"I love you."

"Jesus, Nick."

The body on top of him nearly collapsed, he could feel the shaking in the other man's shoulders.

"Nick, I said I was going to kill you!"

"But you didn't. And you wouldn't, Zak. That was an evil spirit trapped in that building trying to keep one of us there forever. I love you. If you'd have jumped..." Nick wrapped his hands around that strong face, "I don't know how I could of survived that."

Zak's body collapsed, his arms going around Nick's shoulders and body shaking. Nick could feel it in the other man's whole frame and he wrapped his own arms around the trembling back. Nick wanted Zak to let the experience go, but he knew possessions were harder than most. He let the other man take as much time as he needed, as much comfort from him as he can. After a few minutes he felt the tremble in the other man's spine subside.

"Calmer now?" he felt the other man nod against his cheek and sighed when the body moved further down his own so Zak could lay his head down in the space underneath this chin.

"I love you, Nick. I love you."

And that started a whole mess of emotions in Nick, but he beat them down. "I love you too."

His phone rang and the ring tone was unmistakable. It was Roni and he didn't know what to do. Zak was clinging on to him, after something like that Nick knew Zak wasn't going to let go of him and Nick knew that the other man needed him. But the call, he was not sure if he could miss this call. It's been a week and he honestly missed the sound of his wife and his little girl's voices. But they could wait, he felt, until later today. The phone continued to ring and he could still feel the other man tremble slightly before relaxing, giving up.

"You could answer it, you know."

Nick thought for a moment, considerate of the man in his arms and how it'll effect him, but when Zak let go briefly to reach behind himself to grab Nick's phone on the bedside table and handed it to him, Nick merely stared at the phone, and Zak pressed accept before placing it near Nick's ear. Nick smiled slightly in apology,mouthed an "I love you" to Zak before holding the phone himself, nearly sighing when he felt Zak run his hand down his side to rest at his hip.

"Hey, Roni."

"Nick, honey, how are you?"

Nick was staring at Zak's face, but the other man's eyes were closed. He wasn't sleeping though. The body in his arms was to tense to be asleep. Nick licked his lips before laying his hand down at the top of his spine and scratching down towards the curve in his back making the other man's breath hitch.

Nick cleared his throat, "I've been good."

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Uh, just needed to clear my throat. How are you and our baby? I've missed you."

"We're fine, Nick. You want to hear her? She's speaking more now, aren't you sweetheart?"

Nick couldn't stop the smile from appearing on his face. He was almost glad that Zak wouldn't open his eyes, but he really wished that Zak didn't have to go through this. _He shouldn't have to go through this. _Nick tried to move the weight on top of him, but Zak was immobile. He sighed and wrapped his free arm around the tense shoulders and couldn't keep himself from smiling when he heard the musical notes of his wife and child talking.

"You sound beautiful." Nick couldn't help but say, and he tried to ignore the flinch he felt against he chest.

"We can't wait for you to come home, Nick."

His heart burned- he couldn't wait either, but hell, if he didn't feel torn about that too.

"I know."

"We love you, Nick. I love you."

Nick almost couldn't say it, "I love you too." those words usually came so easily to him when he spoke them to his wife, but with Zak near, they nearly caught in his throat. Nick couldn't ignore how those words seem to create another crack in Zak's already fragile facade. It's been years, but his love for his wife hasn't faded and the love he had for Zak was only growing- nothing became any easier.


	3. Chapter 2 Part 1

"I swear it, bro, you're gonna love him!"

Nick snorted into the mic of his phone. His cousin has been going on about this up and coming DJ, a young one, he swore, who has the talent but not the exposure. Nick needed someone to play music at his wedding, preferably someone good and definitely a person who sold his service at a reasonable price. This is Las Vegas, it shouldn't be too hard, but with too many new faces and uncountable super egos, he's been turning down DJs left and right.

It's his wedding and he's getting married to the love of his life. Veronique wanted to take care of everything: the dress, the reception, what food was going to get served... Nick knew that if he got his hands on this project, things would go insane, but when he heard the amount of work she'd be doing, he knew he had to at least do something. He practically begged her to let him do something, and she relented with a smile and gave him the responsibility of finding some music.

And he's been stressing over it for weeks.

"Right, and what makes this guy so different?" Nick asked as he looked down at the scattered papers in front of him. He saw different dates, different schedules, and receipts scattered everywhere. His eyes started to hurt seeing so much black text on white sheet, he was grateful that he didn't need to take care of it.

"Well.." Nick's cousin drifted off.

"Just how new is this guy, Ross." Nick pulled out a receipt, _fuckin' five hundred on food?_

"Hear me out, bro. He's been in LV for less than a year..."

"Jesus..."

"He's good! He knows his music. And he's not a dick."

The young man placed the phone between his ear and his shoulder and pinched the bridge of his nose before rubbing his face, feeling his facial hair scratch at the palm of his hands. What's there to loose?

"Look, I'll meet him."

"Great! Here's his address and phone number..."

* * *

><p>Nick parked close to the apartment complex and smiled when he felt a feminine hand rest atop his on the shift. Feeling fine bones slip through the gaps of his fingers, Nick couldn't stop a soft grin from appearing on his face as he brought her hand to his mouth to kiss her knuckles.<p>

"You never know, Nick. He might actually be the one." Veronique joked and Nick rolled his eyes.

"Roni, this is difficult business," Nick replied in the same tone earning himself a bell like laugh, "No really... Roni, I want the wedding to be perfect for you."

"The wedding isn't only for me," she leaned over to place a kiss to his cheek, "Come on, let's meet him."

Nick sighed as he let go of her hand and opened his door. He rolled his eyes as he heard Veronique let herself out, "You never let me take care of you."

"I don't need you to, Mr. Groff," Veronique jabbed playfully.

Nick shook his head, the smile never leaving his lips as he caught her on the other side and held her close, "If you don't like him, all you have to do is tell me."

"Nick, if _you_don't like him, don't take him at all!"

* * *

><p>Nick looked at the plain door skeptically as he held Veronique's hand in his own. They've been standing in front of it for some time now and Nick was really about ready to drag his fiance back to the car and go back to looking up phone book listings for DJs.<p>

Veronique sighed and raised a sharp eyebrow, "Really, Nick?" She let out a small laugh as she knocked on the door.

Nick eyes dropped to the bottom of the door, seeing if shadows where going to appear. What if he didn't like him? What if Veronique didn't like him? He hated telling people to their face that he'd rather look somewhere else. Especially to someone who might be looking forward to actually playing at someone's party. He heard the clinks of locks being unlocked and the door swung open. Nick hoped that this guy was good, or really good at hiding disappointment.

"Uh, hello."

The young man behind the door opened it enough to clearly show his height, _A little shorter than me,_but the broadness of his shoulders were a bit concealed by the edge of the door and the doorway. He was far from plain looking – with dark hair, blue eyes and light skin the other man was quite an eye catcher; for a moment, Nick was lost in clear blues.

"Hey... Zakary Bagans?" Nick snapped out of it quickly, "I'm Nick... I called earlier."

The look of recognition really lit the other man's face up, "Yeah! Yeah, I recognize your voice. Come in! And you must be Veronique."

Zak opened the door for them completely with a big smile on his face, the little gap on the bottom row of his teeth showing, but was charming, rather than displeasing. He gave a slight nod to Veronique and kept his distance.

_At least he's not hittin' on my girl. _Nick thought. Usually, he'd have to put an arm around Veronique's shoulders or grab her hand and usually that got the point across that he wasn't going to take any of that shit from anybody. But Zak seemed to understand right off the bat that Nick wouldn't appreciate any of that behavior and Nick added a point to the possibility list.

Stepping through the door and shutting it behind Veronique, Nick slipped out of his shoes quickly then helped his fiance keep steady as she slipped out of her wedged sandals. Nick took the time to really look at Zak and tried to apply his appearance to memory. They seemed to have come at an odd time, Nick assumed, as the other man's hair looks fresh from the shower and still damp making Zak's hair look darker than it seemed and Nick saw the brown tones in the seemingly black hair. Zak had a long nose, but it didn't distract from the pretty almond shape of his eyes or the fullness of his lips and _yeah, really gotta stop staring_and Nick quickly moved his eyes away as the other man quirked his lips into a questioning half-smile. Instead Nick's eyes dragged down muscled arms and chest covered by a plain dark blue shirt towards the other man's hands as they distractingly pulled the long dark sleeves over nicely boned knuckles nervously and Nick couldn't help but notice long slender fingers before moving his eyes back up to only see an eyebrow raise on the strong features along with the little shy smirk. Nick turned to his future wife and gave her his hand.

"So what have you got?" Veronique asked as she slipped her little finger to tangle with Nick's. She gave Zak a beautiful white smile and Zak's eyes focused on her as the smirk dropped from his face to be replaced with a pleasant little grin.

"Why don't you both come through? I've got everything in the other room," Zak said as he lead their way down the short hallway into a nicely lit living room. Right away, Nick's eyes fell to a complicated looking turn table at the left of the room seeing the giant speakers and a simple desktop computer. Veronique made her way towards the dark leather couch to take a seat and Nick did the same as Zak rifled through a few CDs before setting a few down on the coffee table in front of them.

"Would either you like a drink or a snack? I know it's almost lunch time."

Nick shook his head with a thank you and Veronique asked if she could have a glass of water. Zak nodded and made his way to the kitchen, happy to do anything for his possible clients.

"What do you think, Nick?" Veronique whispered as the swinging door separating the kitchen from the living room swung shut.

"He's nice."

"And..."

"And if he's any good, or extremely flexible then it's a high possibility we're hiring him."

Zak came back through with a glass of water and a coaster and set it down on the table close for Veronique to take whenever she fancied. She thanked him and Zak waved it off kindheartedly.

"I'm sorry for asking you two to meet at my home. I'd of directed you to the office, but I'm not checking in today."

Nick shrugged, "It's no problem..."

"Zak's fine."

"Oh, well, you can call me Nick. Veronique?" He looked towards his fiance.

"You can call me by my first name too, Zak."

Nick's eyes met with Zak's before continuing,"You're place isn't too far away."

"That's great! You guys want me to play for your wedding, right?" Zak asked for confirmation before going ahead, "I could do that. No problem... although, I'd like a heads'up on what type of music you'd rather have playing. I don't just want to appear and play whatever the hell I want."

Zak said with a knowing grin as he sat down on the leather chair.

"So you're saying you're actually going to listen to me?" Nick asked with a raised eyebrow, "Because the last few DJs continued to tell me they know what's best."

Zak sighed, the grin never leaving his face and nodded, "Hey, you're hiring me, not the other way around. I'll play what you want, get the crowd dancing, and at the end of the day, I'm out."

Veronique's hand shot out to grab a CD and noticed the cover was blank, "What's this?"

"Those are for you to take and give back once you've decided if you two would like to give me a go or not. They're mixes, but if you just like particular songs, the names are listed in the inside cover. I could do something for you now," Zak pointed at his set, "But I think you'd guys like to listen to it privately before discussing anything with me."

Veronique's bag started beeping and Zak quickly shut his mouth and his eyes darted back to Nick. Nick smiled apologetically as Veronique rifled through her purse for her phone.

"Hello? Oh!... oh yeah, of course. I've forgotten, I'll be there. Nick-" Veronique covered the mic of her phone, "I have a fitting today that I completely forgot about, I'll be taking the car..."

"Uh..?"

"So why don't you stay with Zak for a while? Maybe you two could go out and eat something, get to know each other. Thank you so much honey!- Yes, yes, Okay. I'll be there in twenty minutes." she shut the phone and grabbed the key hanging out Nick's pocket taking the whole ring then reached towards the table to grab the pile of CDs.

"It was so nice meeting you, Zak! I'm sorry for leaving Nick with you here... but if you're going to be DJ-ing for us, you need to know us... and Nick is harder to win over than most people."

"Wait... what?" Nick's eyebrows knitted together as Veronique stood and planted a kiss on the corner of his lips.

"It was nice meeting you too, and of course I could watch over Nick-"

"I don't need a _babysitter!_"

"- all I had planned today was to meet you both then eat something," Zak said with a laugh. He stood and shook her hand and waited for Nick to stand as well to walk her to the door.

Zak said his farewells to Veronique before walking into the kitchen to give the couple some privacy. Nick watched him until he disappeared then looked back at Veronique, "Why can't I just go with you?"

"Nick, it's my _wedding dress._You know it's bad luck for the groom to see the wedding dress before the wedding." She said as she slipped her feet into her sandals. Now taller, she didn't need to stand on her tiptoes to plant a short kiss on Nick's lips.

"I'll pick you up later, or you could have Zak drop you off back home. Just call me, okay? I want to know everything." She opened the door and Nick watched her leave down the elevator before slipping back inside and shutting the door. He turned around and Zak stood at the end of the hallway, leaning on the wall with his arms crossed. Nick looked down taking in the dark jeans laying so low on his hips the end of his shirt barely covered the buckle on his belt to the other mans feet, seeing dark shoes. Nick's eyes roamed back up to the playfully smirking face.

"Want to grab some food?"

* * *

><p>Nick leaned back at the head table next to his best man on his right and his best friend, Aaron Goodwin, on his left. He sighed happily as he watched his beautiful wife dance with her friends in her wedding dress that got him to fall in love with her all over again. The long gown fit perfectly to her curves, having decided against the traditional ballgown to go for a lovely trailing mermaid dress. At the moment, the tail was pinned into a pretty bow at the base and Nick couldn't take his eyes away from his gracefully moving wife.<p>

"Hey, man, you got yourself quite the DJ!" Aaron said as he patted Nick on the back, "The party's in full swing, look at that!" he pointed at the full dance floor.

Aaron already met Zak before the wedding; every time he called Nick to go do something, the man was always with the DJ, so Aaron pretty much knew everything Nick knew about the guy. Pretty soon, they became quite a good group of friends, and Aaron taped all their stupid adventures whenever the three were together and he had something to tape their outings with.

"You know Zak has a pretty good library in his head when it comes to music," Nick said, but he agreed all the same. He'd have to thank his cousin when he finally catches him. At the moment, he couldn't really find the people he wanted to find, so he just greeted and received congratulations as he went.

"That I do," Aaron said with a smile, "Did you see the group of fan girls he has?"

Nick squinted in the dark room and noticed many of his own and his wife's girl friends and a few of their young female cousins crowding around Zak's table. Nick couldn't help but to snort as the girls blatantly flirted with Zak, and Zak's eyes darted around, not really knowing what to do with the small crowd surrounding him. It always surprised him how Zak could be a total flirt himself, but barely understood how to respond when people flirted back. More often than not, Zak would say something or do something awkward which left Nick or Aaron laughing if they ever caught it. At the moment, though, it looked like Zak wanted to grab some food; after all, the party's been going for three hours already, and Nick felt that he should save his friend.

"I'll be right back, Aaron. I think DJ damsel may need some help."

"Save him before the girls rip him to shreds, they look about ready to eat him."

"I really did not need that image in my head, bro."

"Hey, I call it as I see it, man!"

Nick laughed before leaving Aaron with a hi-five and made his way through the swarming crowd. His wife came around first, and he quickly grabbed her to plant a kiss on her lips and automatically he heard the clinking of utensils on glass until they parted and the party continued.

"That is such a stupid game," Nick whispered playfully in her ear.

"It's a cute game, what are you talking about," Veronique whispered back with a smile, "What are you doing? I thought you got tired of dancing?"

"I am. I'm actually going to save Zak from the sharks. Did you not notice what's going on at the front? He's practically hiding behind his turn table now." He said with a crooked smile and nod at the table.

Veronique quickly turned her head around to look and she couldn't stop a giggle from escaping as she watched a flustered Zak try to explain to another woman why she should not touch a certain button, _why the hell are you asking if you could_, before looking back at Nick, "Go save him."

Nick nodded and squeezed her in his arms once more before heading towards the table. He watched Zak try to explain to his young cousin that he didn't need any help, thank you, before getting behind the table with Zak and tapping him on the shoulder. Zak spun around quickly and they were so close Nick felt their chests brush before hitting the wall in surprise.

"Woah, there. Sorry, man, you surprised me!" Zak said with a relieved smile on his face as he steadied Nick by his shoulders. Nick realized he had a hand around the other man's waist and quickly let go before leaning against the wall he fell against.

"It's cool, dude," Nick said as he stuck his hands in his pockets. He watched Zak spin on his heel to shoo a few wandering hands and to mess with the menu before turning back around and giving Nick more room.

"There. I think that set should keep them all entertained for the next hour. What's up?"

"Well, you've been playing here up on the stage for so long, now Zak. You got to eat." Nick said with a grin.

"I can get food when I want it." Zak said with an eyebrow raise.

"Its been three hours since you started. I can see you looking longingly at the food at the back of the room. Do not tell me you're not hungry."

Zak rolled his eyes and snorted, "Okay, so I may be a bit hungry now. But I don't think I could make it to the table, bro."

Nick laughed noticing the situation before quickly telling the girls to move it. He told one of his wife's friends that Zak was hungry and pretty soon he was being bombarded with girls willing to grab Zak some food. Nick turned around to look at Zak, seeing a blush appear on his cheeks and the blue eyes pleading with him to get him out and Nick told the little crowd that Zak might want to pick himself and to not bother him while he's eating. Nick saw a few of the girls pout before moving to the side to give the men some space to leave and Nick couldn't help laughing as Zak practically grabbed his arm to be escorted out of the dance floor.

"They really wouldn't leave me alone, Nick. They _wouldn't_." Zak said with a shudder as they made it to the food table.

"I thought you loved that, Zak?" Nick said as he watched the other man grab a plate and fill it.

"Yeah, usually it's all sorts of awesome. But Nick, they're _off-limits._ Friends of the wife, your _cousins_, it's weird, bro. If it wasn't at your party, I'd handle that –" Zak waved his hand at the swarm of females at the front, "a lot better."

"Yeah?" Nick thought for a moment, "Hey, what did you do anyways? How long can you leave your table?"

"Uhm..." Zak's blanked out for a second, his mind being too distracted by the food in front of him to answer Nick right away, "Your guests seem to have a pretty set interest in what they want to hear, I haven't been getting much requests in a while so I just stuck one of my mixes in. They should be fine for a while."

"So... can you find a way to leave your table for a few hours?"

Zak grabbed a carrot from the tray and stuck it in his mouth, causing Nick to roll his eyes and grin at Zak's audacity. Zak just answered the grin back with one of his own, "I can do that. Why?"

"Hang with me and Aaron, dude. I hired you as my DJ, yeah, but you're my friend too."

The larger man narrowed his eyes playfully, "I still get paid for the hours I'm not at the table, right?"

Nick scoffed, "Whatever, dude."

"No, really, Nick. You gotta pay me!"

* * *

><p>Nick laid in bed in the dark with his wife sleeping peacefully in his arms. He's been married to her for three years already, and he knew he was still very much in love with this woman. They came home so tired tonight, they pretty much fell into bed together and Nick chuckled as Veronique's eyes closed and her breath evened out the moment she was in his arms. Being young and married, the two didn't feel like rushing into family life and continued to go out and experience life – so that day, Nick and Veronique drove all the way to Los Angeles to see the beaches.<p>

He sighed as he felt his wife breathe softly against his neck. He smoothed her hair back, his fingers tangling in the strands reaching the middle of her back. He was tired, yes, but some nights he felt restless, like he needed to be out and somewhere else. These were one of these nights.

He stared at the shadows on the ceiling and his thoughts wondered over to Zak. He hasn't seen the other man in a while, being a little too caught up in their separate lives. Between work schedules and dating, Zak didn't have much time to hang out as he got caught up in Las Vegas living. Sure, Nick got calls every week from the man, and Nick would be lying too if he said he hasn't been distracted either, and whenever Zak was free, sometimes Nick wasn't. They have met up to grab some food or to bother Aaron and his wife, but it hasn't happened in a while and Nick wondered what happened to his friend.

He jolted when he heard the familiar ringtone, feeling the body in his arms move.

Veronique groaned sleepily, "What is that?"

"Sorry, Roni. I think that might be Zak."

"It's three-forty, Nick." She chuckled, "Pick it up, it might be important."

She turned around and fell back asleep as Nick stood and dug through his pants that he discarded on the floor. Finding his phone, he answered so Veronique could sleep peacefully.

"Zak?"

"Nick. Nick, can you come over?"

The voice over the phone sounded frightened, and Nick's mind sped through different scenarios.

"What happened, Zak? What's going on?"

"I... I don't _know_. Come over. Don't bring Roni, I don't want her to know about it. I just need you. _Please._"

Nick looked towards his sleeping wife and sighed, "Give me a second."

He went back to the bed and lightly shook his wife awake, smiling as she gazed sleepily up at him.

"What did he want, Nick?"

"Roni, I think Zak might be in some trouble. I'll call you if I don't come home before tomorrow night."

Veronique's eyes sharpened when she heard something was troubling her friend, "Should I come too?"

Nick shook his head, "I don't think he wants to bother you. Don't worry, you know I could take care of the both of us."

Veronique nodded and smiled, "Of course. Call me if its bad, though. I'd hate for anything to happen to Zak."

"Me too. I'll see you in the afternoon – love you," Nick leaned in to kiss her before slipping back into his pants and heading down to grab his keys.

Nick brought his phone back up to his ear, "I'll be there soon, Zak."

* * *

><p>Nick parked in the visitor parking and quickly got out of his car. He looked up and found that all of the lights in Zak's apartment were on. He rushed in, happy to see that the elevators were on the first floor and got in. He pushed the button and he found that the elevator didn't go fast enough.<p>

Getting to Zak's door, Nick couldn't stop himself from banging his fist against it, not caring if he woke up everyone on the floor. He heard all the locks unlocking and saw the door swing open before he was grabbed and pulled in by a shirtless Zak, wide eyed and clearly startled.

"What's going on?" Nick asked as he took in the other man's appearance. He took in defined muscles and the line of prominent hip bones before snapping his eyes back up to see Zak's hair in disarray and dark circles under alert blue eyes. "Zak?"

"Remember when I told you I thought my place was haunted?" Zak started, his hand going to his hair pulling at the strands, and Nick really wanted to pull the other man's hand down from hurting himself.

"Yeah. You bring it up nearly every week, but I thought you were joking. Why?" Nick asked. He started looking around the apartment, uncomfortable with how he was looking at Zak.

"Well, I saw-" Zak choked up before continuing, "I _saw_ it, Nick. I saw something this time! It was a lady, there's a _lady_ here and she's haunting the place. I felt it when I was shown the bedroom, I've been living here thinking something roamed here, and she _appeared!_Shit, Nick, how is that possible?"

Nick looked at him incredulously before grabbing Zak around the elbows to look him in the eyes. He checked to see if Zak's eyes were cloudy from any medication, or maybe possibly drunk, but the other man's eyes were clear. "Tell me exactly what happened."

Zak took a few deep breaths before nodding his head towards the couch and they both took a seat.

Zak's head went down to be cradled in his hands, "I don't know, man. I came home this afternoon, energetic and ready for a night out like usual. But then, I just felt drained." Zak raised his head and rested against the top of the couch and Nick followed the long stretch of neck before meeting Zak's eyes as the other man looked back towards him, looking a bit calmer, "so I thought, maybe today would be a good day to slow down, ya know? So I decided to sleep early. Next thing I know, I wake up in an ice cold room, when its fucking _85 degrees_ outside and a white, see through lady was standing right there in my doorway. Bro, it was _not. Cool._"

"You sure you weren't seeing things?" Nick asked, "I mean, sometimes just waking up could do that too you."

"No, I'm sure of it, Nick! And look! Look," Zak stood up and practically ran into the kitchen. The door didn't even swing completely shut before Zak came rushing back in to sit on the couch again. "I decided to do some EVP, or whatever. See if I could communicate with her. And I caught something. She spoke to me!"

Zak quickly rewinded it for a few seconds before pressing play. They heard him ask a few questions first before they heard a quiet female voice say, "I'm here."

Nick felt chills go down his spine hearing the creepy, breathy voice through the recorder, "What..?"

"I know. Bro, I kept rewinding to hear her, to see if I could debunk it. Maybe it was the radio, the television, someone in the hallway, _something._But it can't be. The voice is too weird, to quick, otherworldly." Zak looked at his recorder as if it'd give him all the answers he needed, "I don't know, man. I've entertained the idea of ghosts, but I didn't believe in this shit before coming here. But how can you deny this? How can I deny what I saw?"

Nick sighed and rubbed his eyes, "Dude, I don't know what to say."

"You believe me, don't you?"

Nick looked into Zak's eyes, the blue eyes pleading with him again and he knew he always had difficulties saying no when Zak did that to him, but what could he say? The recording was insane, the captured voice clearly not from the living. But he didn't really believe in ghosts either. He had to have more evidence. But Zak... Zak, yeah, was frightened of odd things here and there, but he didn't spook this easily. The man was also good at discerning what he sees from what something appears to be. If Zak was sure he saw a ghost, then _maybe..._

"I believe you." Nick said finally and saw those pleading eyes light up.

"Good! Good, you don't think I'm crazy." Zak rushed into his bedroom and Nick followed.

"Is this all you need me for?" Nick asked as he stood in the doorway and leaned on it's frame. He watched the man dig through his closet to pull a shirt on and turn around.

"Actually... can you... maybe spend the night?" Zak asked shyly, and with his usually immaculate hair sticking up in odd directions and those damned blue eyes large and hopeful, Nick felt saying no to Zak now would be the same as kicking a puppy in the gut.

"Fine, but I'm not sharing a bed with you."

"Jesus, Nick. I didn't ask you to hold me while I sleep."

* * *

><p>It continued for another year. Zak would invite Nick and Aaron over some nights to investigate his apartment and most nights very little happened, but what was caught slowly convinced them that something beyond the living was very possible. Aaron was the hardest to convince; he continued to laugh at Nick and Zak as they got excited over little evidence, but after a chilling experience in Zak's bathroom, Aaron had a hard time denying that something else was living in the apartment with Zak. Immediately after the experience, Aaron tried to get Zak to move out, maybe stay at one of their places for a bit before finding a new apartment. There is no way Zak was safe there, Aaron was sure, and he was not comfortable knowing his friend was sleeping in a home occupied by troubled spirits. But through the year, Zak became fascinated with the otherworld, taking his days off to investigate his apartment or to find what history he could find about his apartment building.<p>

During the nights, Nick started to notice little things about his friend. He knew Aaron's quirks like the back of his hand, but Zak was still an incomplete puzzle; he couldn't help but to watch the broader man since they were together a lot more. Nick noticed how hyper-aware Zak was to little sounds and shadows in the dark and he's seen so much of the other man's skin because Zak continued to freak out about the goosebumps going through his whole body he practically lifted his shirt off in front of Aaron and himself. Nick's barely ever seen Zak pick a fight – Nick was never really around when Zak became confrontational, only being at the other end probably once or twice in their friendship, but that year, Nick pretty much could see the difference in Zak when he's calling out spirits who kept breaking his things and the Zak he knew very well. He couldn't even ignore the change in the other man's voice when he gets thoroughly spooked- voice going all high and downright _needy_as he rushes over to Nick's side, sometimes grabbing his arm, but most times just needing Nick to be near. And Nick tried to ignore how that made him feel.

Next thing Nick and Aaron knew, Zak came up to them, excitement radiating through his body as he brought up Goldfield. He had found out about it while looking through the library about the state's history and was quickly fascinated with the idea that Goldfield was truly very haunted. He wanted to prove to the world that ghosts were real, and what better way was to do that than by going to a well-known haunted location and catching something amazing?

It didn't take a lot for Nick to jump on board. He already knew it was really hard for him to say no to Zak – the guy was as hardheaded as a mule sometimes. Plus, those damned blue eyes got him all the time. Nick was excited too, of course, finding interest in life after death. He never bothered to think about it before when he was younger, but to think spirits could be trapped here on earth, the possibility of different dimensions, and the endless reasons for why had him wanting to see Goldfield and maybe find some answers.

Aaron, bless his soul, was excited of the idea as well, but feared the consequences of what such an adventure would bring. It was something he didn't understand, in the past something he _didn't want to know about_, something he shouldn't even believe in, but after hanging out with his two close friends in a haunted home for a year Aaron needed to know why it's possible when years of religious learning taught him that such things shouldn't exist. He almost didn't go and tried to stop his friends from even trying, wanting to save their souls from being damned in some way but the two pleaded with him. They needed a video expert and they trusted no one else to do it right and to understand them like Aaron did. They would accept nobody else to take along, so Aaron agreed to follow as long as they don't force him to do what he doesn't want to do.

The team needed to set a date, needed to save money for the trip and to make some sort of reservation to investigate the hotel and the rest of the area. They couldn't wait to start, they had questions that needed to be answered and the team was ready to look for them.


	4. Chapter 2 Part 2

Its been two weeks into the investigation and the trip had been quite a frustrating one for Nick. He missed his wife and called her every night whenever Zak was in the shower in their shared hotel room or eating out with Aaron. He exchanged many "I miss you"'s and "I love you"'s over the phone with her, but it wasn't like having her in his arms. He even missed arguing with her and taking up the harder chores so she didn't have to work as hard.

But during the day he could admit to being a bit distracted. With so much time spent away from home and every day spent either playing around or watching over Zak, Nick found his thoughts straying to the stronger man. He never realized how reckless the other man was, though the locations were not too big. Zak liked to put himself into dangerous situations and Nick found himself following along so he could grab Zak and run if need be. It happened a few times already, yet the other man would not quit.

Nick was also getting frustrated with how Zak started to act the moment the cameras turn on. It's like he's trying to be someone else. Zak liked to ask before doing things, Nick blamed his childhood, or maybe his high school years. Zak didn't talk about it and Nick simply assumed the guy had a hard time when he went to school. But when the cameras were focused on him, Zak started telling Nick and Aaron what to do to the point where he commanded where they stood and when they could speak. He also retold information and Nick was irked by that – he didn't like that it seemed Zak felt the need to watch over them.

But that was start of it. A few days into it, Zak started to take the front as they taped their adventure. Now Aaron could care less, he'd rather be behind the scenes. At least in the back, he was the first to run out the door. And Nick would gladly give the main host position to Zak if he wanted it, but the danger that came along with that position bothered Nick. With Zak in front, Nick had his back, but he could not see anything in front of the other man and block him from whatever danger came their way. Nick knew Zak would complain and say he didn't need it, but Nick felt the need to protect Zak and he couldn't do that from where he stood.

They've traveled to popular haunted towns around Nevada and still they haven't found anything big enough worth documenting. They've caught odd lights here or there in theaters, weird knocking sounds in old hotels, and a moan or two at very small abandoned hospitals. Zak's been grabbed, Aaron's been called out, and Nick taped an apparition and though Nick and Aaron were quite satisfied with that, Zak was not.

So when the final week came around for their scheduled appearance at Goldfield, Zak bolted to the front of the white van, took the wheel, which surprised both Aaron and Nick, and growled at them to get in before he catches them and belts them in instead.

The drive should have been an hour long, but with Zak driving they made it in twenty minutes. Nick held onto the seat for dear life as he sat in the front and had a show of what Zak could do behind the wheel of the car. And Aaron, well, he refused to open his eyes and refused to view the world zooming pass.

"Oh my god, bro. Park, so I could get out of the car!" Aaron cried out as he rattled the door handle with the lock on.

"Dude, I'll park as close to the building as possible," Zak grinned maniacally as he took a hard right into the shade created by the giant Goldfield Hotel.

"Zak, dude! Really, here is fine."

The driver sighed and stepped on the break. He chuckled when he felt Aaron catch himself on the back of his seat with a, "Dammit, Zak!" and shifted into park right in the center of the wide alleyway.

"_Never _letting you drive again, dude." Nick's voice trembled as he unbuckled his seat belt. He looked out the window before opening his door to see Aaron already out and sitting on the stable floor.

"No. No, no, no. Zak, from now on, I'm either driving, or Nick." Aaron got back up on wobbly legs before getting to his open door and grabbing his camera.

"I got us here, didn't I?" Zak crossed his arms and frowned. He thought he did pretty good getting them in at a timely manner, "And we're safe, aren't we?"

Nick laughed tiredly and rubbed his face as he got out and shut the door, "Com'on, let's look for the owner."

The owner was pretty sweet, although a tad bit too serious. He got the crew shaking with excitement and fear when he pulled out the insurance papers as he was pretty certain _someone _was going to get hurt. Well, fine then, that's even better evidence, Zak thought as he signed his name.

Aaron decided that this building was just too much for him. He knew it would be the moment he calmed down after Zak's driving. The building was just too big, too dark... it reeked of pain somehow and he didn't think that he could handle it. Zak tried to convince him to come along, said that it was just like the other places they've visited, but Aaron would not budge.

Nick was next and though he'd rather not die in an old building, he wasn't going to leave Zak to go in there alone. He grabbed the pen and signed it quickly and he saw Aaron raise an eyebrow at the corner of his eye. Nick ignored him and was caught in Zak's smile – they were going in.

* * *

><p>"You sure it was a good idea to send Aaron home?" Zak asked as they heard the door lock behind them. He was kneeling with his flashlight on as he organized the different cameras on the floor. He picked up the digital still camera as he stood and switched it on without taking his eyes off Nick.<p>

"Well, he'd probably not be able to sleep in a town like this, Zak." Nick said with a crooked grin, "Let's go."

The place felt eerie as they made their way towards room 119. Eerie, but empty, so they continued silently throughout the building. Zak kept turning around to face Nick even though he kept his flashlight on and Nick couldn't stop a small grin from appearing. It was times like these where Nick wondered what the hell Zak was feeling to make him want to make sure he was near.

"Here it is..." Zak said as he walked into the room.

"Should I turn off the light?" Nick asked quietly as Zak stood at the center. Nick stopped at the doorway in order to have a wider shot.

Zak shook his head, a negative, while he took pictures, "Elizabeth? Are you in here?"

Nick's eyes scanned the room as short flashes from Zak's camera appeared at the corner of his eye. The room was creepy, but so was the rest of the building and he didn't feel much of anything in the room.

Another flash, "I know what happened to you in here and I'm sorry that it happened to you and your baby."

Nick turned his attention back to the camera, watching Zak through the tiny screen. Zak took a picture of the radiator before turning around.

"I don't feel anything." Zak said, clearly disappointed. He rubbed his face before informing to the camera about how some things could not be experienced without being there in person, that you needed to be here in order to understand what they were feeling, or would've felt if a ghost was in their presence. Nick nodded, a signal to tell him that's enough and Zak walked out of the room.

They walked around slowly for a bit, the night finally falling completely when suddenly they heard loud shuffling further down the hallway.

"Sh! Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh." Zak's arm went out behind him to stop Nick in his tracks and the other went up to press a finger against his own lips. Nick backed up and took a good shot of the hallway and Zak and his eyes went up to look at the back of Zak's head.

"Did you hear that?" Zak whispered quickly.

"Yeah... what –"

"Sh!"

Nick pursed his lips, slightly annoyed. These last three weeks Nick had fallen into that same trap and he started to wonder if Zak was doing that on purpose now.

The night seemed to drag on the more annoyed Nick got. Zak wouldn't stop pulling at him, telling him where to go, quieting him when he spoke. Nick knew things Zak kept reminding him about and Nick knew if he did not straighten this out soon, he was going to blow up on Zak.

He could see that the other man was noticing the change in him and still Zak wasn't careful of what he said or how he said it. Nick's jaw tightened when Zak nagged him for the fifth time tonight and he couldn't help the aggravation from making it into his tone as he ground out an, "I _know,_Zak."

It only seemed to get worse as time moved forward and Nick couldn't wait until their break at one. He didn't know if he was going to give Zak a piece of his mind, or just ignore him and calm down for when the time comes, but he knew if Zak did not stop, Zak was going to know one way or another than he's been bothering Nick for quite some time.

* * *

><p>"Nick, what's your problem!" Zak practically screamed at him as they made it back into their safe room. Zak fiddled with the small digital camera in his hands before giving up and throwing it to the side. The camera was probably still recording, but he knew how to delete footage.<p>

Nick growled as he shut his camera off easily and set it on the table. Zak's getting demanding and it was fucking with his psyche. He was so very close to...to... to what?

"My problem?" Nick shook his head to clear his mind before getting in Zak's face. Standing at his full height, Nick had the pleasure of watching Zak lean back to glare into his eyes, "You! I don't need anyone telling me what to do, or how to do it! I don't need to be reminded of things I already know!"

Zak shoved him, "So that's it? You don't like it when people have authority over you?"

"I don't like it when _you_think you have that over me!" Nick shoved back and before they knew it, punches were flying.

Nick didn't know how it got this far, how everything escalated into this. He was yelling something, but he didn't know what it was, and Zak was doing the same but he couldn't hear him over the roar in his ears. Just, why, Nick's mind screamed at him as he felt his knee meet with Zak's stomach. Who does Zak think he is, telling me what to do, and Nick felt he had the upper hand as he watched the larger body double over. As he got closer, Zak rushed forward, knocking the both of them onto the floor, why does my attention stray to you all the time? Why can't you get _out of my head_, it's always _you_. Nick felt the heavy body straddle him and hands grabbing him around his wrists, locking them above his head, _why do I look at you the way I do?_

Zak was breathing hard above him, in pain, Nick could tell, and he felt some satisfaction from it. The other man was staring at him with confusion and a bit of suspicion, and Nick tried to relax from under him. Zak slowly let go, but refused to budge from on top of Nick's stomach and Nick's hands went down, his fingers brushing Zak's knees.

"What was that, Nick?"

Nick's mind was racing. He still felt his adrenaline rush. He didn't know. It was the way Zak looked, but it didn't make him mad. It made him want to stare at the other man, seeing dark hair and large blue eyes, and so much skin. It was the way Zak acted, the way he'd rush to his side when something scared him, but denied ever feeling fear. It was from remembering how everything was before he ever met Zak. From ever feeling _needed_ the way Zak needed him. But Zak hasn't done anything to warrant this. _Yes he has_.

"I want to take care of you."

"Excuse me? Attacking me is not a good way of doing that, dude."

"No... I mean, I'm sorry. I shouldn't of done that." Nick brought his hands up to rub his face before dropping them again, this time resting on Zak's thighs, "You're telling me what to do. I get that, you're the leader. But fuck, Zak."

"Do you want to tell _me_what to do?"

"It's not that."

Nick motioned that he wanted to get up, but still a bit cautious, Zak only moved until he was straddling Nick's legs. Nick sat up.

"I don't know what's going on," Nick whispered as he brought his hands up. He felt horrible when Zak twitched away before allowing Nick to hold his face. Zak's breath hitched, confusion taking up most of his features before Nick leaned forward and pressed his lips against Zak's.

At first, Nick couldn't believe he was doing this; he was married to a beautiful woman waiting at home, and here he was kissing his best friend. Nick almost pulled away, but a shy tongue licking along his lips forced a groan out of him before deepening the kiss.

Nick allowed Zak to quickly take control; he's only ever kissed women before and Nick wanted to see the difference. _It_ is _different_, Nick had to fight back another moan as the other man bit at his bottom lip before tangling his tongue with Nick's again. It was rougher, _dirtier_, Nick thought as he battled his way into Zak's mouth, trying to take control. He was used to being given the lead, but Zak made him fight for it and Nick would be lying if he didn't admit that he found that arousing.

Nick's hands moved down the sculpted body before finding the end of Zak's shirt and slipping his hands in. He started exploring skin and muscle he's been admiring from afar, enjoying the surprised twitches when he found sensitive areas around the other man's ribs and belly button . He rubbed a thumb over a hardened nipple, getting a gasped against hungry lips and felt large hands tangle in his shirt against his chest as he was pulled closer to the solid body on top of him. Forcing his tongue into the cavern of Zak's mouth, Nick finally got a good taste of mint, a hint of cigarettes, and something completely masculine.

Zak pulled away first and Nick latched onto his corded neck, wanting to taste skin and sweat from somebody he's been denying the pleasures of for years. Zak's pants and quiet whimpers were filling his head as he stretched the neckline of Zak's shirt to lick and bite along his sensitive collarbone. His hands ran down again to push the tight shirt further up the strong body so he could see the contrast of pale skin on Zak chest and the sun-kissed color on his arms. He felt the lines back down and rested his hands on strong hipbones, feeling slight curves, muscle and natural bone structure. _Its different, different, different._

Nick moved his face away to rest his head on Zak's shoulder. He could see spots of red and spit on Zak's collarbone from where he couldn't get enough of his taste. The shirt was definitely ruined, Nick thought as he took in the ruined neckline and his eyes roamed down further, taking in smooth, pale, hairless skin and his own hands pressing indents into slender hips.

They're both panting and Nick couldn't believe what they've just done as he pulled his hands away from the stronger man's hips, seeing red finger marks from holding on too tightly. He laid a soft kiss on the side of Zak's neck as an apology while he smoothed his fingers over them.

"Fuck, Nick. What's going on?"

"I don't know."

Nick leaned back, his hands going behind himself to prop himself up and took in his work. He felt a little proud seeing the ruined shirt and the marks slowly appearing under Zak's neck. His eyes roamed over hard muscle, back to bruised hips, and then to the faint, large, circular bruise where his knee connected with flesh before moving his eyes back up to see Zak roll his eyes and push his shirt back down to cover his body.

Nick heard a beep come from his wrist, and he took a quick look at his watch to see that they had fifteen minutes before they had to head out to continue their investigation. They needed to eat and Nick was ready to completely forget that any of this happened, but Zak refused to move from on top of him, his stare practically burning holes into Nick's skull as he tried to figure out just what Nick was going on about.

"Look, we'll talk about this later." Nick said as he sat completely still. He didn't know what to do with his body; if he sat straight, he'd want to grab onto those hips again, and lord knows where _that_would lead, so he remained leaning back.

Zak crossed his arms and leaned back too. Nick felt Zak's bottom fit between his spread knees and Nick couldn't help a small amused grin from taking over his face at the childish display.

"Zak, I won't let us starve, now lets eat something."

"Was that it?"

"Excuse me?"

Zak huffed before leaning forward. He got on his knees again, bracketing Nick's legs between them and slipped his arms around Nick's torso to rest his hands behind Nick's. He got really close, as if it'd stop Nick from hiding anything from him.

"Was that it? Things like that – you said you wanted to take care of me, earlier."

Nick refused to lean further back as Zak got in a better position on top. He just sighed and pushed at Zak's shoulder until he moved away. Now was not a good time to talk about this and Nick would really rather forget this ever happened.

"Zak, just... please. I promise you, when we get back to our hotel room we can talk about it. We have to eat now, or we're going to be hungry for the rest of the investigation."

Zak's lips pursed and his eyes narrowed as he got off Nick's lap. He reached a hand out the moment he was steady on his feet to help Nick up. Grabbing his hand and getting up, Nick knew he shouldn't of been surprised when Zak held on tighter when he was about to let go.

"When we get back to the hotel room – We _will _talk."

Nick tried to ignore how that tone of voice irked him and nodded before making his way to one of the bags sitting in a dry corner and finding something for the both of them to eat. He grabbed the dark blue sweater resting on top and threw it at Zak for him to wear.

* * *

><p>After leaving the safe room, the next few hours were nearly a blur for Nick. With their low-tech equipment, seeing in the dark was not as easy as it seemed and Nick constantly had to remind Zak to keep his eyes on the screen before he tripped and fell. They heard noises from every corner and Zak had a habit of going after it at full speed, loosing Nick twice in the last hour.<p>

"Sweetie? Was that you? It's safe now..."

Nick heard faintly as he walked carefully down the hallway. It seemed Zak found his way back to the room where Elizabeth was chained. It was like he was drawn there, possibly truly was, but very little ever happened in that room. Sure, Nick caught a ghostly caress along Zak's arm, but as far as that went, the spirit did very little.

"You can come out here, it's just me. Can you talk to me? Can you do that? That man who kept you here is not here with us now." Nick made it to the room and stood to the corner of the doorway, seeing through the tiny screen the light of Zak's camera resting on the radiator and Zak's head snapping up at the noises he created.

"It's just me," Nick whispered.

Zak nodded before bringing the recorder he held out to his lips and saying, "Nick just entered the room."

Zak sat against the wall the woman was imprisoned against and put the recorder on the floor, "I came here earlier, if you don't remember. You touched me, I saw it. Can you do it again?"

Both Nick and Zak heard a whimper close to the stable object the lady was chained against. Zak backed away from it, before collecting himself and moving closer.

"We heard you, sweetie. That's good, that's good."

"Zak..." Nick warned. The whimper did sound helpless, but even Nick knew it was common sense to watch out for things that cannot be seen.

"What?"

"Don't get too close."

"It's okay, Nick." Zak moved forward on his knees and Nick held his breath when Zak held his hands out to touch along the radiator. Zak felt around it in the dark, hoping he wouldn't cut himself on anything or a rat wasn't behind it as he looked for something that could possibly bring a reaction from the lady spirit, or the spirit that kept her there. He hoped to find chains, or maybe broken ends of handcuffs, possibly a key. He wanted to feel or find if the lady hid anything there that nobody ever bothered to take, like a locket, a comb, a toy, even, for the child she knew that grew inside of her. But there was nothing and Zak leaned back on his heels and rested his hands on his knees with a sigh.

"Sweetie, we came here to help you." Zak said quietly and Nick could hear the slight tremble in the usually strong voice.

Nick bit his lip and resisted the desire to drag Zak out of the room. He truly felt bad for the spirit trapped here, but he didn't like how the room brought Zak sadness. He was still a tiny bit skeptical when it came to the spirit world, was even more so to people who were sensitive to it, but Zak was really showing the possibility that he was in-tuned with the otherworld in some way and Nick wanted to drag him away from all of it.

They waited a few more minutes, but nothing else happened. Zak was still sitting there, staring at the spot she would've sat at with the most heartbreaking face he's ever seen.

"Com'on, bro," Nick said as he focused his camera on the other man. Zak looked up at him with the same heartbreaking face and Nick resisted the urge to get down there with Zak to hold him.

"The room feels empty, Nick."

Nick put down his guard and automatically the weird sensations he's been having throughout the hunt was absent in this room. The room was still dark, old, and held a bit of sadness to it, but there was also something hallow about it now.

"Yeah. I noticed it too. There's nothing more we can do, Zak. Let's go."

Zak nodded and Nick came closer, reaching a hand out to smooth over defeated shoulders until a hand came up for Nick to grab. He helped the other man up and nodded to the doorway. Zak grabbed his camera from where it rested on the radiator and led the way.

"I wish we could do more."

"Hey, I feel this isn't the last we'll see of the place. Zak, we could always try again next time."

The men found themselves getting lost a few times before they made their way down the stairs. Everything was starting to look familiar, even though for the last few hallways things have always looked the same. It was like the place they were entering had it's own atmosphere that separated it from the rest of the building. They could feel it in the air.

Zak started asking questions into empty space – who's there? Who made that noise? But the only answers they received were more noises moving down the hallways and it seemed to be leading them somewhere. He could see the other man getting frustrated and he nearly put his hand over Zak's mouth when he started taunting the ghosts.

"Is... is this the room? Nick," Zak started as they went down the stairs. Nick cleared his throat and zoomed his camera around, yeah... yeah, there was something about this place.

"Yeah, this is it." Nick said and as they came around the corner.

Zak stopped before passing through the doorway and looked back at Nick, eyes opened wide in the dark. It was like he stopped breathing and Nick got a tiny bit worried as he stepped closer.

"Want to go first?" Zak asked and Nick looked at him curiously. Just a moment ago, Zak would not give up the lead, but something about the room must've been bothering him. Nick nodded and turned the corner into the room, and with both cameras focusing in on the room, a brick came flying out of no where and objects were lifting off the floor.

The surprise and fear they felt was unimaginable. How is that possible? The first reaction was to run, and they did, knowing the other man would do the same. In the dark, Nick couldn't find Zak, the man being too far away to grab the moment activity started happening, but Nick could hear him, somewhere behind him, or maybe in front of him, he wasn't too sure, screaming for them to run, run, get out, run, go!

But it was much too dark, and the building was beginning to feel suffocating. Nick didn't know if he screamed or made a noise at all, completely and utterly shocked by the darkness around him and the activity caught. No, no, no, no, no, none of that could of been real, Nick thought as he backed up into a corner. He shut his eyes, he knew he couldn't of run too far, although it felt like he did, because he could hear things breaking and being thrown across the room.

He couldn't hear Zak anymore, and he hoped the other man was safe. He'd better be safe, Nick thought as he leaned against the wall. He didn't know where he was, didn't know even where to start and the fear had nearly eaten up all his common sense to go look for his friend. Zak, where are you, Nick frantically thought as he walked along the side of the wall.

He heard loud, fast footsteps coming his way and the fear that still coursed through his veins told him to go back, so he did, his back hitting the wall and sliding until he was in a corner. He tried to focus his camera on what the hell was coming at him, but a hand around his wrist stopped him from focusing right away. He nearly screamed until he brought his camera up and saw the familiar broad back and spikey hair. It's Zak, he's found him, and they're going to get the fuck out.

The two men sat on the dusty road, back to back and stared at the old building that sat there ominously. They both panted as they tried to get their breath back after running nearly blind throughout the whole building, trying to find a safe way out before jumping out the window and onto a fire escape that secured a safe passage down. They got as far away from the place until it felt safe and it's been minutes, yet still they couldn't wrap their minds around what just happened in the old hotel.

"Bro... no one's going to _believe_ us." Nick said as he brought a hand up to wipe the cold sweat off his brow. Hell, _he_couldn't even believed it happened and he was there to experience it.

"No, they're going to have to, Nick. We got it taped." Zak said, then slowly, a smile appeared on his lips, "Dude. We got that _taped!_"

Zak started to laugh, fucking unbelievable, and Nick felt the bubble in his own chest before joining in. Jesus, that was the scare of his life, and yet he would not mind doing it again. Ghosts. _Ghosts_ were _real._

Their laughter died down and ended into a companionable silence as they two men continued on with their thoughts.

Suddenly, Zak perked up, "Dude, we left most of our equipment in there."

Nick shook his head, "Everything should be safe. We'll get them when the sun comes up. We should be alright taking a nap 'till then."

* * *

><p>The made it back to their hotel room and it was well past sunrise. Nick was laying in bed, staring at the ceiling still in the clothes he wore from the investigation. Zak was sitting at the small table in the corner in one of the comfortable chairs looking at the footage he caught on his camera with his earphones on. He's been on the same tape for quite some time now, and Zak had been completely silent. Nick turned his head to look over at the other man, and the expression on Zak's face got him sitting up and calling his name.<p>

"What?" Zak blinked a couple of times before looking up at Nick.

"I said, what are you looking at now? You've been too quite for the last twenty minutes."

"I..." Zak started then he went back to the footage, paused it and rewinded. Nick wondered what the deal was, the last few hours Zak had been either laughing at their obvious mistakes or letting out an exclamation of surprise when they taped something they hadn't caught with their eyes or ears before writing on a pad the tape number and time so they could go back and review it together.  
>Nick heard a click from the camera and Zak stood up and told Nick to make some room. Nick moved his body and put his feet on the floor, giving Zak space around the head of the bed and the other man took the spot, the camera held tightly in both hands.<p>

"Here." Zak said as he thrust the camera into Nick's hands before leaning back and looking away.

Nick raised and eyebrow and looked at Zak's profile. The stronger man refused to make eye contact with him so he looked down at the camera in his hands and pressed play.

_"Nick, what's your problem!"_

Nick's heart sped up at the familiar words coming out of the camera. He thought Zak had shut the camera off like he had with his own, but by the sound of Zak's hands messing with the camera, Nick assumed Zak was too frustrated at the time to care. He next saw a swirl of colors as the camera was flung to the side and Nick winced at the sound that created and waited for the camera to refocus itself. He heard the beginning of the fight and Nick nearly said sorry again when he recognized the sound Zak made when he kneed him in the gut, but what came next had the words die in his throat.

He watched the tumble they had when Zak bowled them both over, their bodies captured at the corner of the camera. The camera had a clear shot of Zak as he pinned Nick to the floor. Nick couldn't take his eyes off the tiny screen and he continued to watch unresponsively until he reached the point where Zak had let him up and his own back was presented to him.

The sound of wet kisses and the way their bodies were moving together had Nick blushing furiously and he nearly shut the camera off right then. He forgot everything in the suspense of the investigation and he almost couldn't believe that _he'd_ been doing all those things to Zak. He wasn't even gay, he was damn sure of it, but when he saw that body arch closer to him in the tiny screen, Nick couldn't ignore how the scene made him want to grab Zak and have the other man under him this time. Seeing that strong body respond to _him_, to see Zak enjoy being touched by him and passing over the control left a stirring in Nick starting from his quickly beating heart, to his stomach and down to his groin and, _fuck_. He closed the camera.

"We..." Nick cleared his throat and kept his eyes on the closed camera, "We have to erase this."

Zak finally turned to face Nick, his blue eyes fiery and persistent,"Nick, we can't just forget what happened in there."

Nick dropped his head and covered his eyes in his left hand; his mind was going haywire. He knew deep in his gut that he was attracted to Zak. He definitely couldn't ignore it now. He probably have been feeling it for years, but refused to acknowledge it. But now... after what just transpired, he could not label it as simple fascination. No, it was much more than that.

"Dammit, Zak," Nick directed his conflicted eyes at the other man, "What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know, maybe something pertaining to this!" Zak waved his hand at the camera, "Nick, you're confusing me, dude. Don't lead me on like that. I've been getting it for years and it's driving me insane!"

"What?" Nick put the camera down.

"Jesus!" Zak brought a hand up to rub at his face before grabbing Nick around the shoulders, "Are you playing with me, Nick?"

The wavering voice really struck to Nick's heart and left him speechless. Zak continued to stare into Nick's eyes, his blue eyes searching Nick's face for an answer.

Zak continued, "You were getting married when we first met, Nick. At first I thought you were just curious, but fuck, I know _interest_when I see it!" He let go of Nick's shoulders and crossed his arms defensively, his body curling in on himself.

"But you were getting married and I can easily tell that you love her, ya know? So I just ignored it and I convinced myself that I was just reading too much into it. But then, you always wanted to hang out with me, dude! Sooner or later, I always wanted to be around you too."

"Zak..."

"No! Let me finish," Zak got up and started pacing while Nick watched him, careful not to make a noise. Zak turned around and continued, "Then you started doing little things... things that continued even after your marriage. You think I didn't notice? Nick, as time passed, you wouldn't stop looking after me in some way, always making sure I was fed, or that I slept at night... fuck, Nick, you think I didn't notice how long you held onto me the nights I went home with somebody else? You'd of done anything for me if I asked you to, and I won't lie, I did take advantage of that on multiple occasions 'cause I knew...  
>"But there's something about you, Nick, and I've been so confused! <em>Why<em> am I attracted to you? You're a _man_. Why do I feel safe around you, let my guard down around _you_. I'm stronger than you, yet why do you have power over me? What is it about you that just throws me off balance and-"

Nick couldn't take it anymore, the pain radiating off of Zak. He quickly made his way to the other man and brought him close, locking lips with him and staying that way. He felt the muscled chest heave against him as Zak tried to call down.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Nick whispered as he rested his forehead against Zak's. He kept his hands around Zak's face and smoothed his thumbs over high cheekbones. Zak refused to meet his eyes and a weak flush appeared across his cheeks, embarrassed at his own outburst.

"I don't know what's going on either, Nick." Zak said quietly, "I'm sorry about the tirade... I just... I want answers."

"Whatever it is... Zak, we can't..." Nick said just as quietly.

Zak's eyes came up to lock with Nick's, and Nick had never been caught in Zak's eyes like this until this moment. Intense, _always_intense, passionate, aggressive, warm, farthest from the iciest blue.

"Yes, we can."

"I can't love you."

"Then don't."

Nick chuckled humorlessly and stepped away from Zak only for the other man to follow, trying to get even closer, "What do you mean? You're not making sense anymore, I said: I _can't _love you."

"I'm not asking you to," Zak grabbed Nick around the face and pressed his lips against the other man's. Nick's eyes widened as Zak's eyes closed tightly, afraid of rejection, Nick supposed, and Nick's hands felt up Zak's chest to push him away as he remembered Roni, but it was the safe room all over again. There was that hesitant tonguing at his lips, shy, begging, and Nick honestly couldn't help but to open his lips and let Zak's tongue slide pass as he shut his eyes.

As Zak dominated the kiss, Nick wrapped his arms around Zak's torso, feeling up and down the strong back. He couldn't help but to groan as he felt the prominent S-curve moving further down Zak's back, the curve the man tried to hide with baggy pants and shirts that refused to cling the further down it went, a curve that was nearly feminine, but completely masculine, hard with muscle and Nick pressed his fingers into them, locking his hands again around Zak's hips.

Nick felt himself being pushed back and he felt the bed hit the back of his knees. Zak was overpowering him and one more shove had Nick sitting at the edge of the bed. Breaking the kiss, Zak followed, one hand on Nick's shoulder, the other going to the buttons on Nick's shirt as he straddled his legs.

Nick put an arm behind himself and leaned back, giving Zak more room to get the buttons and Nick rested his hand on Zak's ass, pulling the heavy body closer to himself. The buttons now undone, Nick ground up between Zak's legs and moaned as Zak did the same against his exposed stomach.

_We shouldn't be doing this_, Nick's mind raced as he sat up straight so he could use both his hands to feel the other man's skin under his shirt. But, fuck, if this wasn't tempting as he felt tense muscle give way to his wandering fingers. The further his hands moved up, the more skin was exposed and Nick really wanted a taste of that.

Zak made a noise from the back of his throat as Nick rubbed his fingertips across pebbled nipples. The younger man watched as muscles moved when Zak hastily removed his shirt and he latched onto Zak's neck again, tracing the marks he left the night before with his tongue. Nick found one he particularly liked; a nice dark, purpling one he didn't know he left on his right collarbone, and licked the skin roughly pulling out a strangled whimper from the man on top.

Nick felt hands at his belt and for a moment, Nick wondered how far this was going to go before he was distracted by a palm rubbing against his covered cock, bucking his hips and moaning against bitten skin. He's been in this position before, but the weight was different, heavier. The voice ringing in his ears, richer. The hands moving across his body, rougher and no matter where this went, Nick knew he had to have this man under him.

"Get on the bed," Nick ground out against Zak's jaw and he felt the other man shiver against the sensation.

Nick left a small kiss on Zak's left peck as he crawled off Nick's lap and laid down on the center of the bed. This was the first time Nick's ever really seen the guy nervous since the first time they've met, blue eyes looking up questioningly at him, and his red kiss-swollen bottom lip held between his teeth. Nick slipped out of his unbuckled pants before getting on top.

"Second thoughts?" Nick asked as he pushed a knee between slightly spread legs. Zak groaned as that knee pressed tightly against his groin.

"Shouldn't... shouldn't I be asking you that?" Zak asked as his hand went down his own body. Nick watched those sun-kissed hands move down the pale skin of Zak's stomach before reaching his pants and Nick batted those hands away playfully.

"Undressing you is my job."

Nick teased his way down Zak's chest, pressing his fingers into pliant muscles. The man under him gasp when Nick felt over fading fingerprints and Nick eyes darted from Zak's chest to his face.

"They don't hurt," Zak quickly said with a small smile and he reached for Nick's hands to press them tighter against his skin.

Nick said a quiet sorry anyways and Zak let go of Nick's hands to let the other man explore. Nick reached the button laying low on Zak's hips and quickly unsnapped it before removing his leg from between Zak's thighs and pulling the loose denim and his underwear off.

Nick took in all that skin, every curve on that strong body before reaching confidently for Zak's cock. He knew this movement well as he wrapped his fingers around stiff flesh – he knew what felt good, certain of the spots where he'd have Zak bucking under him. Giving pleasure was simpler because he was a man himself, he knew what made his own body tense and coming. There was no hidden buttons or uncertainty.

Zak was writhing under him, he always moved a bit too much, and Nick couldn't take his eyes off of him as he stroked the hardened flesh in his hand. Again, Nick couldn't help but to think this was different – definitely not like pleasuring a woman – but the reaction was the same.

Nick leaned forward and started nipping his way down Zak's chest, feeling the muscles twitch against his lips when he found somewhere particularly sensitive. He licked his way down the developing six pack before nibbling at the edges of Zak's bellybutton, groaning as he felt the tip of Zak's cock slide wetly against his chest. Nick squeezed his fist and those hips bucked again.

"Nick," Zak whimpered and the younger man felt strong hands at his shoulders and the back of his neck. Nick let go of the flesh in his hand and crawled back up to capture the quiet noises spilling from Zak's lips only to groan loudly as their lips met when the other man wrapped his legs around his hips and ground desperately. Nick's hands slid over tense thighs as their cocks slid against each other. He put a hand under one of Zak's knees, folded it closer to Zak's chest and got up on his own to push Zak deeper into the bed. He felt the other man moaning against his neck and that body under him trembling, so close to coming, and fuck it was better than he ever dared himself to imagine.

"A-ah! Nick..." Zak gasped and Nick felt his seed shoot between their stomachs. Zak was making soft grunts from under Nick as the man on top sought his own release and a smooth roll of defined hips against his hard cock got him cumming and whimpering his release into Zak's neck.

They were both panting and Nick fell forward, feeling the slick slide of cum and sweat as he got comfortable in Zak's arms. He let go of the leg he trapped under his hand and felt is slide down his side before rubbing his fingers over the side of it to loosen up the muscles from getting sore later. They didn't speak; Nick didn't know how to process what just occurred and Zak wasn't going to say anything if Nick didn't say anything first. They just held onto each other and basked in what comfort they could give to each other and Nick tried to ignore the guilt eating at his gut as sleepy hands rubbed up and down his back.

* * *

><p>Sure that Zak was fast asleep, Nick slowly pulled himself out of Zak's arms and watched the man sleepily raised one above his head. He looked over the evidence of their encounter – his cum drying on Zak's stomach, bruises where his fingers dug into strong flesh, and love bites scattered down the other man's torso. Every one of them possessive and screamed mine.<p>

But Zak wasn't. He could hold no claim to anybody else but his wife back home and how the hell could he have gotten carried away like that? The guilt continued to nibble at the forefront of his mind as he got out of the bed smoothly and grabbed a towel from the bathroom to wipe the semen staining both of their stomachs.

As Nick cleaned off the spunk from Zak's chest, the other man's eyes blinked open sleepily, questioningly. He scooted over for Nick to join him, but Nick shook his head and gave him a small smile, "Go back to sleep."

Zak nodded and when Nick pulled the blanket over the tired body, Zak turned his back on Nick. Nick tried to convince himself that Zak was just getting comfortable, but as he wiped the remaining semen off his own chest and got into his own bed, he knew deep down that he hurt Zak by refusing him.

But he couldn't worry about that now. Nick's mind was unstable as he pulled the blanket over himself and turned off the table light. The curtains hid away most of the day's sun, but he could still see Zak's silhouette. The man was so still, he couldn't of been sleeping yet and Nick couldn't form any words to say to ease the tension in the room.

Nick wanted the other man to know he cared for him. He did, he truly did. He didn't want Zak to think he used him and was now throwing him away. Nick didn't know much about Zak's past, but with the way Zak picked up a new someone, Nick was pretty convinced Zak knew what it felt like to not be wanted. He couldn't do that to Zak. He refused to hurt him in such away. No, Nick couldn't because he...

Nick shook his head. He couldn't _love _Zak. That's impossible when he knew he had Roni. And he loved Roni, no question about it. But he can care for Zak, right?

But it's different now, Nick thought as he pulled the blanket closer around his naked body. It's different now because he's finally had a taste of what Zak could offer him and he didn't know if he could stop himself from taking more. He wanted to have more, possess more. He wanted Zak to be _his_.

And then there's the fact that he's married and that Zak could never belong to him because of that. It was because he happily gave his heart away to Roni and still wanted her to keep it and he knew he couldn't take that away from her even though...

_I don't love Zak_, Nick shook his head frantically before hiding under his blanket. He _loved_ Roni. He loved how she was so independent. He loved her strong personality and soft smile. He loved her feminine body, the way she moved, laughed, loved. He loved her self-sacrificing personality, how she trusted him with her whole heart, _gave_ him her whole heart and _fuck_, what has he done?

He started getting dizzy with the limited air under the blanket and pushed it down his torso, automatically feeling the cool air of the hotel room. But with Zak... he didn't know. Fuck it, He was _attracted_ to the man. He's always been fascinated with Zak's body and later on wondered how it would feel under his hands. He liked how Zak came to him when he was confused or lost. He felt tingles when he got Zak laughing or smiling or when he got the other man in his arms. Zak was strong, yes, and Nick adored seeing that side of Zak, but he loved the way Zak didn't refuse him when Nick offered help. _Loved_the way Zak needed him around, the way he looked under him, the way his voice changes when it's just the two of them.

Nick was fucked. He couldn't have them both, could he?


	5. Chapter 3

Nick woke up first and noticed that it was a lot darker in their hotel room. Aaron had came around earlier and knocked, but with Zak on top of him, so deep in sleep he didn't even hear the decent banging on their door, Nick had no choice but to ignore it. He heard the other man muttering about getting some food and that some of their crew was already munching without them then heavy footsteps and Nick promised himself that when he next sees the bald man he'll tell him he's sorry that he didn't open the door. He knew Aaron would understand.

Nick felt Zak shift in his sleep and Nick held onto him a little tighter. Zak was a total mover when he slept, never really finding a comfortable position, or too distressed in his sleep to stay still. When they shared rooms but separate beds earlier on in their relationship, Nick woke up to find that strong body in the oddest positions and had wondered if Zak was comfortable at all. One night, Nick swore Zak was about to fall off the bed, both a leg and an arm hanging off the side. He only meant to push Zak onto his back, but the sleeping man had him by the wrist and he was pulled down and practically pinned for another hour.

Zak had apologized profusely when he finally awoke, still unsure of where he stood with Nick in their relationship, but Nick waved it off with a laugh. Zak didn't move for that whole hour, seemed as if he liked having something wrapped in his arms and Nick suggested sharing beds during these nights. He could remember the deep blush appearing on Zak's cheeks as he accused the other man of being a cuddler, and he could remember how it was around this time the dynamics of their relationship changed.

He felt Zak pull away slightly and Nick let him loose. He watched the body move as Zak turned his back on him and sigh and Nick couldn't help but to follow. Propping his head up, he wrapped his free arm around Zak's waist, right under the larger arm and realized that Zak's breathing wasn't as deep as when he slept.

"Zak, I know you're awake."

The other man moaned and pressed himself back, "A few more minutes, then. Just hold me."

Nick chuckled deep in his throat, feeling it scratch and sounding a lot more huskier with disuse.

He ran the flat of his palm down Zak's chest feeling each ridge of muscle, reaching the waistband low on the other man's hips before moving back up. It wasn't even a minute when he both felt and heard a deep groan resonating from the tattooed back against his chest.

"How the hell am I supposed to sleep when you're doing that?"

"Don't, then."

Nick pulled Zak to lay on his back and rolled on top. The legs underneath him automatically parted and he made himself comfortable between strong thighs. Zak's arms were spread out like a cross and Nick made quick work of that, taking the man's wrists and pushing them into the pillows above Zak's head. He could already feel the other man responding to him.

Zak stared blearily up at him with sleep heavy eyes. A tiny smirk was playing across his lips as he pushed back then laid still, still too sleepy to give a damn. Nick always liked the sound of Zak's voice after an investigation and a few hours of sleep – a little rough and quiet. "You know, I don't just let anyone do this to me."

"No, just me," he whispered huskily into Zak's ear a little aggressively, _possessively,_which caused a shiver to course through the tanned body.

"Fuck, Nick," Zak whimpered and Nick felt the other man's hips twitch upward and the thighs around his hips tighten before the body fell loose underneath him. Zak looked up at him, half-lidded and expectantly and Nick moved both of Zak's wrists into one of his hands, unable to close his fingers around them, but certain the man under him would not fight against him.

"How are you feeling?" Nick asked neutrally as he smoothed a thumb over Zak's brow. He knew he shouldn't be teasing Zak like this, but last night the other man was both physically and emotionally drained. Zak huffed and rocked his hips up causing Nick to moan and his left hand to go to Zak's hips to try to still them, but Zak merely slowed his pace.

"I'm alright, Nick. Just dandy. Now fuck me."

Nick's breath hitched, "Jesus, Zak. Just a moment ago you wanted to go back to sleep."

"No, fuck me now. I'll go back to sleep later."

Nick fell forward and his hands left their stations to hold his upper body up around Zak's shoulders. He couldn't stop the quiet laugh from escaping into Zak's neck.

"What am I going to do with you, Zak?" Nick questioned.

"Do I have to tell you again?" Zak asked back, but he didn't give the other man enough time to answer as he practically threw a dazed Nick onto his back, removed both their shorts and straddled his hips.

Nick focused in on Zak as that strong body leaned back and he felt the bed dip between his legs. His hands shot up to Zak's thighs as he felt the other man grab both of their hardening cocks in one hand and rock forward.

Nick gasped as the body undulated faster above him, distracted by the play of muscles and the quiet whimpers and moans. He was nearly lost in the ride when he heard the other man gasp, "The lube... where?"

"Top drawer, my right." Nick held onto Zak's hips as the other man let go of their shafts. Zak leaned to the left to open the drawer, and Nick sat up and leaned forward to nibble along the prominent line of Zak's collarbone making the other man gasp and his hips twitch strongly in Nick's hands. Nick heard the other man groan as he moved his hands from Zak's hips to the cleft of his ass to trace the line down to tickle his hole with his fingertips.

"Nick..." Zak's voice struggled into a whimper and Nick felt the man tap him on the shoulder with the bottle, but Nick was too distracted with the twitching hole and the taste of the other man's skin that he didn't even hear the pop of the cap opening.

"Fuck..." Nick groaned as he felt a slick finger pass his own and the flare of arousal had his heart hammering as he felt Zak fuck himself on his own hand.

Zak's started to pant, his breath shallower as their hips continued to rock together. Nick leaned forward to capture those red-bitten lips to catch every sound coming out of Zak's mouth. He couldn't stop himself from tracing the wet, stretched skin surrounding Zak's finger and diving inside.

"Want you..." Zak said breathlessly against Nick's lips and Nick grunted a negative as he slipped in a second finger to join Zak's.

Zak keened and pushed his tongue into Nick's mouth, feeling the paler man's tongue fight with his before giving up and pulling away. Zak pulled his hand away from himself to wrap around Nick's cock to slick him up with the remaining lube.

"I can take you." Zak whimpered as he let go of Nick's cock to slide his hand on his own.

"Don't want to hurt you." Nick grunted as he slipped in another finger to replace Zak's. He promised Zak it was never going to be like their first time again. He heard the man on top of him growl and felt a strong hand wrap around his moving wrist. Nick could deny Zak only so many times.

"I can take you," Zak said again, more forcefully this time as he held Nick's hand in place and ground down, enjoying the stretch before lifting his hips, feeling Nick's fingers slip from his hole.

Before Nick could even try to stop the stronger male, he felt the weight on top of him shift and suddenly a wet, tight heat engulfed his dick. A strangled moan made it's way through Nick's throat, the man being too surprised to do much else but to grab on to defined hips and will Zak to not move.

"Zak, what are you doing?" Nick struggled to say as Zak seated himself in Nick's lap. The other man started to swirl his hips, getting used to a different kind of girth and length than Nick's fingers.

"'S good..." Zak grunted and leaned back feeling himself sink fully onto Nick's cock. Leaning on his arms anchored behind him, Zak started lifting his hips and sinking down in small motions, teasing the both of them and willing Nick to throw him down and pound into him.

"Come on, Nick... come on." Zak ground out, high pitched and needy.

Nick growled as he rolled the both of them over, hearing the other man whine as he pinned the stronger male by his shoulders. Holding Zak down, he slowed the pace of his hips and followed the movement of Zak's hips when he tried to change the speed until the darker skinned man stopped. Nick pulled out completely before pushing his cock back in loving the feel of resistance before being accepted.

"Yes... Nick. Please." Zak hissed. Nick felt the other man's shoulders tense and for a moment, he was certain Zak was going to flip them over again. The idea was shot down when he felt the other man's legs wrap around his own and lock at the back of his knees.

"You're... you're being so good, Zak." Nick commented between thrusts. Zak was getting better at giving up his control and Nick made sure to praise him whenever he recognized it.

"Yeah?" a whimper, "then... fuck... me... ah, ah... _please_..."

Nick picked up the speed, changed his angle and let out a noise of approval when he hit the other man's prostate, feeling the body tighten around him, surprised.

"So close..." Zak groaned and wrapped a hand around his leaking cock. Nick answered him with a moan of his own as he watched the swollen head disappear in Zak's tight fist on the upstroke and reappear as the hand slid down.

Nick whimpered and shut his eyes when Zak used his free hand to trace up his neck and cup his face. So close, so close, so close... He continued with the fast pace, recognizing the the tightness in his own gut. The body under him was responding so well, Zak's voice setting his blood on fire. Zak's muscled chest met with his own, and Nick swore he could feel Zak's heartbeat hammer in time with his as the man arched underneath him and cum stained both their stomachs. He felt the other man trace his lips with a thumb.

"Love you..."

Nick's breath hitched. His eyes snapped open and locked with adoring blues. _This is wrong, you shouldn't... shouldn't love_me.

"Love you too..." Nick whispered and he came.

* * *

><p>Nick gently removed himself from Zak's arms as he felt the tremors in the other body fade away with sleep. Zak got a little useless after sex – a little too out of it, a bit too sensitive to do much of anything but lay there and try to come down after feeling his own body tighten before his release. Nick loved holding him then. He knew he had to be careful where he touched Zak and he enjoyed taking care of Zak this way. Loved feeling that rapidly beating heart slow down against his own chest, knowing he was the one that set that strong heart racing. So he waited.<p>

But they couldn't stay in the room all night as well, so Nick planted a soft kiss to Zak's temple and made his way to the bathroom to shower. Zak should of went first – he was possibly dripping his cum into the sheets and _fuck_– no, Zak's probably too tired for a round two. At least they didn't have to explain themselves to the hotel staff, Nick thought as he got into the running shower and shut the curtain.

Wiping the water out of his face and pushing his hair back, Nick turned his back on the shower head to fully drench his back and let his mind wonder. This was the first investigation of the season, the first week away from his wife, and the first week he's spent every night with Zak in three months. Of course, he was sure to have the other man visit whenever he felt it was right and to stay the weekend with Zak when his wife and daughter went out to visit her mother and father. And Zak had been okay with that – he was actually a bit more aggressive during those few months.

But something was different earlier, Nick thought as he grabbed the shampoo and lathered his hair. Nick had known quickly into their relationship that Zak was a bottom at heart. How can he be in control all the time? Nick made sure Zak got a break in his arms; he had the other man know that he could trust Nick to take care of him. But Zak's submission doesn't come easy, barely ever came easy; Nick had to use his craft to get the man under him in most circumstances. Nick had to do even more to get that wonderful mouth of Zak's to stop directing. But Nick learned and he found ways to finally have Zak let go in his arms, to ask, to _beg_instead of demand.

But no, something was definitely different. Earlier, Nick didn't have to try as hard. He didn't even see him crack in his blue eyes, couldn't even tell if he got the other man to break under him, like he needed to. Especially last night, when Nick had been so scared that he was going to loose the other man, and Zak had been too lost in his own mind. Zak needed that break, to know that Nick has him when he's feeling vulnerable.

But Nick understood it wasn't his own fault- what could he break if there was nothing there _to_break? Where had all that dominating will gone? No.

Nick grabbed the soap as he thought about the man in his bed. No, it was there. Just a tiny bit. But it's burning out and he didn't understand why. Was it the possession? Nick didn't think so, but what did he know? The possibility just didn't seem right.

There was resistance in Zak's eyes – something he wasn't used to seeing in those crystalline orbs. Nick was used to seeing those ocean blues begging him to make him shatter and cling to Nick. It was almost like Zak was fighting him with his submission, denying Nick something he himself needed. Zak had pretty much just let Nick take him and though Nick loved seeing that beautiful body straining for him, to see the want and need in Zak's face, Nick needed to know he earned it, earned to have Zak be that way in his arms.

Nick was just about ready to shut off the water when the curtain opened a peak and Zak's face became visible through the crack.

"Why didn't you tell me you're getting into the shower?"

"You were asleep again. Is there a problem?"

"I..." a faint blush covered Zak's cheeks as he looked back to the bed. His eyes returned to Nick with a smirk on his lips, "Your jizz is on my sheets."

Nick snickered, "Come here, let's get you clean."

These thoughts could wait, Nick mused as he pulled Zak into the shower with him and pushed that strong body under the spray. They go home at the end of this week after the evidence review to put together their first episode for their producers to judge, but afterwards Nick had half a year to study Zak where there will be months of only the two of them in one room.

* * *

><p>Aaron batted at Zak as the man launched another paper football across the bed side table at him. Nick's attention was divided between the two men fooling around and the television set. They've been sitting around in Aaron's hotel room for about five hours now, a good way through Nick's evidence, and they're bored out of their minds.<p>

Usually the group would go out in the middle of their review to go find something to eat or get a coffee to wake them up, but usually they're looking through their footage while the sun is up. It's about twelve at night, nothing was open, and so the boys were stuck with their footage.

"Pause, pause, pause, pause, pause!" Zak practically jumped out of his seat by the head of Aaron's bed and his hand went for the camera next to Nick, but Nick snatched it with a cocky grin.

"I got it."

Nick rewinded it for a few seconds and heard Zak cry out, "Stop!" and pressed play. The three of them watched silently until they heard a loud running noise.

"There! Did you hear that?"

"Yeah... that was me, dude." Aaron said and his head fell back as he scrunched his face up, "So why can't we use the possession part?"

"Because," Nick started as he fast-forward the tape by a minute and half. That part of the investigation disturbed him, "people don't need to see that."

Zak's eyes narrowed as he picked up one of his little paper footballs laying on the floor by his feet and threw it at the paler man sitting on the couch, "We could show it. I don't care. We'll edit it a bit, cut out the scarier parts – hand it over as a clip, whatever."

The two men stared at each other, willing the other to back down. Aaron raised an eyebrow.

"Well... if we don't find anything else awesome..."

Nick rolled his eyes and a crooked grin appeared across his lips as Zak shook his head and snorted.

"Fine, we'll go with that." Nick said and he patted the seat next to him. Zak fell into Nick's side and slouched into his seat, pushing himself right into Nick's side, making the paler man wrap an arm around his wide shoulders.

"You two..." Aaron laughed, "come on, back to the vid." Aaron reached a hand out and Nick passed the camera over.

They tried to watch another hour or two of their footage, catching something here and there, but they kept getting distracted. Zak's hand was running up and down Nick's thigh, a sign to Nick that Zak's focus was somewhere far away, and Aaron was practically asleep again. Nick grabbed Zak's hand, chuckling softly when Zak twitched, startled, before getting up and shaking Aaron awake.

"Hey, bro. What time did you wake up?"

"Uh..." Aaron blinked sleepily as he raised his head from where it was resting on his arms, "I think... around ten? Dude, I didn't get much sleep..."

Zak came around and helped Aaron to his feet and walked the other man the short distance to his bed and pushed him in.

"I don't think it's a good time to review these. If we can't concentrate, we'll miss everything. Go to sleep," Zak pulled the blanket down and over Aaron and Nick shut off the television.

"What're you two gonna do?" Aaron asked as he stretched and got comfortable. He was still in his jeans, but he could ignore that for the night.

Zak looked back at Nick and the taller man shrugged. He could use the time alone with Zak to see if he could figure out what's changed.

"We'll just enjoy the night air."

Aaron grunted, "'Kay. Just... be careful."

The man in the bed was nearly knocked out when Nick shut off the lights and Zak opened the door. They whispered a good night to Aaron, and they received a sleepy reply as the door was shut.

The men grabbed their jackets and made it out of their hotel room. The town there hotel was in was little, so not many people were walking around and Zak decided that the park next to the harbor would probably be the most deserted because of the cold winds blowing over the water. It wasn't too far, and as the people passing by became less frequent, Zak reached over and linked his hand with Nick's.

Nick looked under his lashes at Zak and gave the other man a small smile when warm blues met with his own browns. Zak smiled a little wider, and Nick relished in the content he could see in the other man's face. They didn't have many moments like this, where they could show their love for each other outside for the world to see. Nick thought he should find ways for something like this to happen more often – maybe take Zak out on his boat some time, or go out camping, find more discreet clubs – just the two of them. He didn't want to limit their relationship to the bedroom, Zak didn't deserve that, and Nick knew he could do more.

It made Nick kind of sad that Zak didn't ask for more, but he could tell that he would be welcomed.

Zak led Nick down the pier a good ways down, sure that no one would be staying around because of the cold and faint light.

"We go home in a few days," Zak brought up as his gaze went down.

"Yeah, I know," how can he not when he counts the days he'll be returning to his wife and child, when he counts the days he has left with Zak, "but only for a while."

Nick turned Zak until he was facing him and pulled him into his arms, "Then I'll be yours for the rest of the year."

Nick felt strong arms wrap around his waist to be pulled closer. He felt Zak sigh, "It's like a tease, Nick, doing this every time before filming a season."

"Why? I try to be around even when we're home," Nick thought he was doing a good job of that, making sure Zak felt wanted.

"You do! But... I don't know, man." Zak chuckled humorlessly, "You're not exactly _mine_ those days. Hell, you're not _mine_when we go on these trips."

Nick shook his head and his hands went up around Zak's face. He made sure those blue eyes were looking straight into his, "I'm yours. And I know you have to share me for right now, and I'm so sorry, Zak, that you have to wait for me to make a decision, but don't think second of that. I'm _yours._"

"Are you?" another humorless laugh, Zak's hurting, Nick could tell, "I'm yours, you know that."

"I do know that."

"I wish I knew you were mine too."

Nick pulled Zak's face closer into a frantic kiss, trying to prove something and Nick felt something break inside _himself_when Zak just gave into him and let him lead. It was this, it's because of this. Nick's mind shook as he swiped his tongue into Zak's mouth and only felt Zak massage his with his own. Nick broke the kiss first, but Zak was still planting soft little ones at the corner of his mouth. He held fast at that face, pulling away.

"I'm just as much yours as you are mine," Nick's voice wavered, and he wasn't sure who he was trying to convince more. But there it was, the spark.

"I believe you."

And Zak had him spinning into the kiss all over again.

* * *

><p>Nick dropped Zak off first to his room, telling the other man he'll join in him a minute, he just needed to get his clothes for tomorrow. Zak had almost been the same again, like he was before the whole trip started. <em>So he needs reassurance.<em> That's fine, Nick could do that tonight, _make_ him know Nick's _his _when he can be.

And at the moment, Nick was. He tried to push his wife and child at the back of his mind, as hard as it was for him to do so, but Zak needed him now. They got into this together, and Nick mustn't of been taking up his part if Zak's being the way he is. And Nick promised himself that he'd take care of the other male. It's harder on Nick, he knew, but if he wanted to keep Zak and if he didn't want to loose his family, he knew that he'd have to keep up. And maybe he's been a little to caught up in that, Nick thought as he rolled everything he needed into his clothes and carried it under his arm, maybe he's been too comfortable knowing he had them both that he's been slacking.

Well then, it's time to take care of that, Nick mused as he grabbed the keycard and opened the door. If Nick needed to, he'll be more aggressive, make Zak fight against him, have the stronger man break in his arms like they both needed, and show the stronger male that he's got him. Then _maybe_ Zak will believe that Nick still wanted him, that Nick's still caught up in him, that he's still _Zak's _in some way.

Nick was just about ready to pass Aaron's room when he heard the the door unlock and Aaron's sleepy face peaking out through the crack before the door opened wide to show the full body of the other man on the other side. Nick stopped and cocked his head to the side. He gave the sleepy man a warm half-smile, "What's up, Aaron? It's nearly two, go back to sleep."

"You're..." a yawn, "you're going back to Zak, aren't you?"

It was a question, but the way it came out of the other man's mouth was nearly accusitory. Nick didn't know if it was merely a slip in his tiredness, or if the other man was doing it on purpose, but Nick tried to ignore how those words affected him.

"Yeah... I am."

Aaron crossed his arms and leaned on the door frame, a little more awake now, and yeah, Nick could see the accusation in his face. It's there, though it's very little. Aaron had already accepted that Nick wasn't going to stop, had already told his best friend that by this time he's used to it, but he also promised that he'd try to hide how much he looked down upon the relationship.

"You go home to Roni in two days, Nick."

Nick got a little defensive, "What of it?"

"What about your _daughter_-"

"Aaron, I know you mean well," Nick interrupted, "but please... you promised me you wouldn't _do _this."

Aaron rubbed at his tired eyes before looking at Nick sharply, "Yeah... yeah I did. But only because I know how much Zak wants you." Aaron bit his lip in thought, "but I could see how it's effecting him too."

"I'll take care of him. You know I will."

"And that's the thing- I know you will," Aaron nodded, a small smile on his lips. He reached out to pat Nick on the shoulder, "but lord help us when this shit hits the fan, man."

"I don't want to think about it."

"I think about it all the time. I worry about you, bro."

"Oh, so you're worried about me too?"

Aaron chuckled, though he didn't know why, "Nick, you're my best friend- my bro, dude. I'm not your father and I'm not your enemy," he went further into his room and got a hold of the door, "You know what I think about this relationship you're having behind Roni's back and about you leading Zak on. But I also know that you love them. It's all on you, Nick. So far, they're happy... and you seem to be happy too. Good night."

"Good night...oh! Aaron..." Nick's hand went out to stop the other man from shutting the door, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you have to go through this with me."

"Like I said, Nick. You're my brother. And Zak is too, don't forget. Though I'd rather see this play out differently, you're both happy."

Nick nodded and he removed his hand from the door. Aaron shut the door with a, "go get 'im" and a small smile.

Nick walked the short distance to Zak's room, right across from Aaron's and his own and knocked lightly. When a smiling Zak opened the door Nick shoved his way inside, dropped everything in his hands on the floor and pulled the other man into a dominating kiss, hearing the door slam behind him.

He could feel the surprise in the other body, hear it in the grunt he received as he shoved the stronger male further into the room. At the moment, Nick didn't know who needed this contact more, Zak or himself, but he had to have him.

The talk with Aaron, although lightened his heart knowing that Aaron's slowly accepting the relationship, got his mind swirling in confusion all over again. Questions he's been refusing to answer, refusing to even acknowledge had made its way to the forefront and Nick knew he needed to loose himself before he starts making decisions. He _can't _make a decision when every one of them would be wrong.

He felt Zak struggle against him, there it is, the fight against Nick's manhandling. It excited Nick, feeling that body respond to him, but fighting against him taking over. This is how it had always been, the Zak he knew well. Zak force his tongue into his own mouth, but it was short lived as he pushed that strong body onto the bed.

Nick reached forward and removed Zak's sleeping pants from his body, the only article of clothing on him, and took the time to admire what he had in front of him. Nick gave the other man a crooked grin as his eyes roamed up that body and met Zak's cocky little smirk. There. There, Zak knew Nick could never resist him.

"I was wondering what happened to you," Nick whispered as he removed his shirt and got on the bed. He straddled Zak's legs, making sure the rough denim of his pants rubbed lightly against sensitive skin. He felt the hitch in Zak's breath as he smoothed his hands over soft muscle.

"Nothing's happened," Zak said, his smirk never leaving as he tried to get up. He growled low in his throat when Nick shoved him back down and pushed most of his weight into Zak's shoulders.

"You sure about that?" Nick said as he leaned down. He gave light kisses to Zak's lips, hearing the man whine softly as he moved away whenever he felt nips at his own.

Zak's hands went to Nick's hips as he tried to deepen the kiss, but Nick just chuckled and leaned away, "You're playing, Nick..."

"And you're insecure."

Nick saw the furrow in Zak's eyebrows as Nick got off of him and stood at the side of the bed. Zak followed, and grabbed fast at Nick's hips, making sure he wouldn't leave him. His legs made it down off the bed, spread, so Nick could stand between them, "No, I'm not."

"You are," Nick said confidently. He felt hands unbottoning his pants and he let Zak remove the clothes from his his legs.

"I'm not."

"You don't think I'm yours." Nick stopped Zak's hands from reaching his cock and he pushed Zak back lightly, "You don't think I love you."

Zak's breath hitched and his eyes went up to stare into Nick's. Nick could see it, he found what's been bothering Zak.

"You think I'd drop you the moment you do something I don't like."

Zak shook his head, but Nick knew better.

"Lay down at the center of the bed."

Zak did as he was told and Nick had to study the body language first before proceeding. Was he doing the right thing? He was pretty sure he was... there was no expectation, acceptance was minimal. The resistance was there, as if he was going to deny everything he was going to hear. That's what Nick needed - he needed this in order to have Zak believe him, to yield perfectly for him.

Nick got on the bed again and his hands went to Zak's thighs, pushing them apart. Zak's hands went down to shove Nick away from him, a "what the fuck," at the tip of his tongue, but Nick sealed their lips together and those legs were braught apart enough for Nick to lay between.

"You're wrong, you know..." Nick whispered against swollen lips. Zak's eyes shut, expecting the worst, expecting to hear that Nick didn't want him anymore. Nick moved down that strong body, kissing his way down a trembling chest. Zak was hard against his stomach and Nick reached for it, wrapping his fingers around Zak's cock and stroking lightly.

"You could want to kill me, and I'd still love you."

"Nick..."

"It's true," Nick felt the fluttering heart beat under his lips before kissing his way to a pert nipple. He felt hands in his hair as he sucked it into his mouth and moaned, knowing the light vibration would drive Zak crazy. He felt Zak's hips twitch strongly against his stomach and he smiled, "I'd probably deserve it. I'd still love you."

"No more..." Zak whimpered, "Just... shut up."

"No, you need to hear it." Nick said against Zak's neck as he reached for the bedside table. He grabbed the lube and uncapped it, spreading it on his fingers, "I haven't been taking care of you."

Zak gasped as a finger breached him, "You have been," Zak denied.

Nick shook his head, "Yesterday afternoon... I let you control me. I did as you told me when I knew I should've gotten through to you first."

Nick pushed in a second, feeling that body resist before accepting. He landed a kiss to Zak's lips, feeling the other man sob, more than hearing him, "You submit to me knowing that you could find a break with me, knowing that I got you."

Nick pulled his hand away, that should be enough. Zak shouldn't need as much preperation as this afternoon. He wiped the rest of the lube on the bedsheets, he wanted Zak to feel him - to still feel it when he wakes up. He used that hand to prop himself up, and his now free hand to push the hair that clung to the side of Zak's face away, "You didn't get that from me that time, and I'm sorry."

Nick got on his knees as he held Zak's hip with one hand, the other going to his own cock to slide home. Zak's chest arch towards him, Nick's fingertips brushing over the curve that became more apparent in Zak's lower back. He was breathing deeply, stretched open a little too quickly. Zak felt vulnerable and it was shaking him to the core.

A leg wrapped around Nick's hip and arms went to his shoulders. Zak's blue eyes flashed in the light of the hotel room, "Harder," he ground out.

"No."

Those hips bucked under Nick, catching Nick off guard and causing him to groan. He grabbed the leg wrapped around him and pushed Zak further into the bed.

"I said no, Zak."

Zak was stronger than him, Nick was not blind. The other male could probably kick him out of the bed if Nick's not careful. But it was about Zak breaking under him- to make him feel vulnerable, then have him know that Nick wouldn't throw him away afterwards. He's probably been feeling it the whole week, Nick mused, and Nick had forgotten to bring him back.

Nick could feel it in Zak's body, can see it on his face. Zak panted as Nick fucked slowly into him and the demands were dying on his lips. Zak didn't need to prove anything to Nick, didn't need to keep the other man with words, or cage Nick under him. Nick was _his_.

"That's right, baby. I've got you," Nick noticed the change in blue eyes, Zak understood, "I'm yours." _Whenever I can be._


End file.
